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Muffins and Mayhem: Recipes for a Happy (if Disorderly) Life
by Suzanne Beecher

Published: 2010-06-01
Hardcover : 256 pages
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"While it's well known that food and stories make for a great combination, Muffins & Mayhem takes their relationship to a whole new level. Brimming over with the stuff of life, this is a book to curl up with and devour." ?JOEL BEN IZZY, storyteller and author of The Beggar King and The ...
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Introduction

"While it's well known that food and stories make for a great combination, Muffins & Mayhem takes their relationship to a whole new level. Brimming over with the stuff of life, this is a book to curl up with and devour." ?JOEL BEN IZZY, storyteller and author of The Beggar King and The Secret of Happiness

Suzanne Beecher's happy, loving voice has brought more than 350,000 people to her online book club at DearReader.com, where her daily column offers her candid, thought-provoking reflections on life, inspiring countless readers to look at their "ordinary" lives in a new way. By turns funny and poignant, Suzanne is the reassuring friend across the kitchen table with a refreshing, jaunty attitude about life, even in the face of whatever difficulties it may bring.

Suzanne has had her own share of troubles to overcome. Left home alone at an early age, she struggled with difficult and distant parents, dealt with heartbreak, became a hard-working single mom, and overcame two substance addictions and a physical impairment. But along the way, she found comfort in baking and sharing food with her friends and family. She learned to take the good with the bad, and her life is now inspiring proof that faith and persistence are the keys to success.

This beautifully written celebration of food, friends, and family will nourish Suzanne's numerous fans and those who have yet to discover her simple, homespun magic.

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Excerpt

Almost every week my parents and I would go to Grandma and Grandpa Hale's house for Sunday dinner. Grandma Hale was the shutterbug in the family and I was always ready to pose.


I used to think I didn't have anything to say about my childhood. For the life of me, except for the bad complaining stuff, I couldn't remember a thing I did with my parents as a kid. Since I didn't want to lug those stories around with me the rest of my life, my mind would always go blank whenever some­body started talking about their warm and fuzzy childhood experiences. ... view entire excerpt...

Discussion Questions

From the Author:

1. In “Pretending My Way to Success,” Suzanne writes, “ . . . when you have to convince people you’re in charge, it doesn’t work” (page 46). Her solution was to change the way she dressed in order to change the way others perceived her. The result was an inner self-confidence that eventually led her to shed the “power suit” without losing any authority. Do you agree with Suzanne’s belief that clothes can, in a sense, make the person? Have you ever had a similar experience where your outward appearance caused an inner metamorphosis?

2. In chapter one, Suzanne writes about her mother’s “truths” and quirks and how, despite her best efforts, every now and then when she looks in the mirror she sees her mother looking back. Is adopting some of our parents’ idiosyncrasies inevitable? Why or why not?

3. From failed marriages to unsuccessful business ventures, Suzanne journeys through many “live and learn” experiences. Even situations such as her restaurant folding ultimately lead to personal growth and insight. Would you consider her unsuccessful endeavors failures? Why or why not? How do you define failure? Did any of Suzanne ’s stories make you reconsider the value of some of the failures in your own life?

4. There’s an old adage: “Dance like no one’s watching and sing like no one’s listening.” In the story about Suzanne’s hotel room performance of Irene Cara’s “Flashdance (What a Feeling),” she does just that—except she accidentally winds up with an audience. Have you ever experienced a similar situation? Was it comical like Suzanne’s, or more embarrassing?

5. When describing her own quirky personality, Suzanne quotes Leonard Cohen’s “There’s a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” How do you think Suzanne’s embracing of her individuality and pride in being “a little strange” (page 74) has affected the way she interacts with others? How can embracing one’s uniqueness help overcome life ’s obstacles?

6. An illness or injury can be one of life ’s biggest setbacks. Suzanne experienced such a setback when she was diagnosed with benign essential blepharospasm, a rare, incurable neurological disorder. Determined to overcome her disability, Suzanne learned to love her illness in order to live with it. Do you think her “love the illness” strategy could help others suffering from chronic conditions? Have you ever experienced a similar situation? If so, how did you learn to live with your condition?

7. In talking about the meaning of life, Suzanne writes, “I’ve always thought my job, my purpose here on earth, certainly must be something more dramatic than simply loving and taking care of the people around me. So I’ve strived to be clever, artistic, and talented in business. But . . . I realize I’ve been looking at life all wrong. It’s not complicated, there ’s nothing to prove. My mother was right. It’s really very simple. What’s really important is love.” Do you agree? Why or why not?

8. After her mom passed away, Suzanne discovered a short poem that her grandmother had given to her mother. The poem is just a silly anti-theft ditty written on an index card, but she cherishes the keepsake and makes an index card of her own because, as she says, “Sometimes a little bit of silliness is the recipe I need to get me through the day” (pages 78–79). Of all the values Suzanne carries, why do you think maintaining a sense of humor is so important? Are there any special pick-me-up tokens or rituals in your life that you use to help you through rough patches?

9. One of the book’s main themes is family traditions. Holiday traditions are particularly important to Suzanne, so much so that she has trouble parting with antiquated rituals like buying pecan pies at Christmas. She also recognizes the importance of maintaining traditions now that she ’s responsible for holiday dinners. How important is tradition in your family? Did you experience a similar “passing of the torch” when you became an adult?

10. For a long time Suzanne was ambivalent about going home to visit her parents, even to the point of becoming physically ill. But through Mrs. Creswick’s meat loaf and other recipes and stories from her recipe box, Suzanne discovered a way to go back home. What does going home mean to you? Has it been an easy journey or, like Suzanne, have you had to find a way to give yourself the home you never had when you were growing up?

11. Suzanne recounts the day when she was sitting in Starbucks and a man came over to her table and asked, “Are you a writer” (page 224)? After stumbling through an awkward and embarrassing response, Suzanne realized it was finally time to face her moment of truth. Was she going to accept and acknowledge her writing talent, or let self-doubt continue to steal it away? The words in an old folk song proclaim, “This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine.” Have you been able to freely acknowledge the talents you’ve been blessed with, or do you hide your light under a bushel?

12. Toward the end of the book, Suzanne writes about having the courage to “deviate from my comfortable routine” in order to discover new opportunities to touch other people’s lives (page 216). So many of her projects required her to trust her instincts and take a chance. For example, when she took it upon herself to essentially create her own job description at Sunny Hill Nursing Home. Have you ever found yourself in situations where you had an opportunity to take similar chances, and how did you react? Do you regret your decision?

Suggestions from the Author:
1. Plan a book club smorgasbord! Have everyone prepare his or her favorite recipe either from the book or from Suzanne’s recipe blog (DearReader.com) and bring it to your book club meeting. Or prepare one of your family’s favorite recipes and share the story behind it.
2. One of the most inspiring experiences Suzanne writes about is her role as volunteer coordinator. Give back to your own community by volunteering in your neighborhood.

3. Visit the author’s website, DearReader.com, and see firsthand how Suzanne’s free online book clubs work!

4. Visit Suzanne’s website MuffinsandMayhem.com, and create a cookbook of recipes and stories with your reading group or family members, or make one for yourself.


Notes From the Author to the Bookclub

Note from the author:

I used to think I didn’t have anything to say about my childhood. For the life of me, except the bad, complaining stuff, I couldn’t remember a thing I did with my parents as a kid. My mind would always go blank whenever somebody started talking about their warm and fuzzy childhood experiences. So I accepted my fate as an adult, deprived of warm and fuzzy childhood memories, I should have been able to tap into when I wanted to go back home in my mind. But then it occurred to me that I’d always been ambivalent about going home anyway. Every time I planned a trip to go back home and visit my parents I’d get sick. I’m not kidding! Two or three days before I was supposed to leave, an illness would consume me—just long enough to miss the window of opportunity to go back home.

So I asked myself: Really, what’s the big deal? Who cares if I can’t remember any warm and fuzzy childhood memories—didn’t want to go back to the measly small town I grew up in anyway. There wasn’t anything there for me. But then Mrs. Creswick died. She was my girlfriend’s mother. Whenever I got the chance, I liked to watch Mrs. Creswick make dinner. There was love in her kitchen, and one afternoon she taught me how to make her Frosted Meatloaf.

Every kid needs a role model, and although I hadn’t realized it at the time, Mrs. Creswick was one of mine. Years ago I’m sure Mrs. Creswick thought she was simply giving me a recipe for meat loaf, and for a long time that’s what I thought too. But suddenly it was all so clear. Remember the girl who was ambivalent about going home? Mrs. Creswick’s Meatloaf finally showed her the way.

I missed a soft place to fall when I was young, so I’ve created my own, but not without help. Reading and writing have been my mentors. My hope is that when people are reading my stories, they’ll be inspired to remember some of their own. I have just enough confidence in myself and just enough doubt to write about my worries and fears, to make fun of myself, and invite people to laugh along with me. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could all feel comfortable enough to laugh at ourselves when we screw up? A laughter that stays with us, tucked away inside instead of feeling shame? Hopefully when people read the words I write they’ll go easier on themselves and find that soft place to fall.

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