BKMT READING GUIDES

Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives
by Josie Brown

Published: 2010-06-01
Paperback : 352 pages
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The bitter divorce of "perfect couple" DeeDee and Harry Wilder, and its impact on the gated community in which they live, is seen through the eyes of a neighbor, Lyssa Harper, who doesn't realize the parallels between their marriage and her own. Touched by Harry Wilder's efforts at trial-by-error ...
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Introduction

The bitter divorce of "perfect couple" DeeDee and Harry Wilder, and its impact on the gated community in which they live, is seen through the eyes of a neighbor, Lyssa Harper, who doesn't realize the parallels between their marriage and her own. Touched by Harry Wilder's efforts at trial-by-error single parenting, Lyssa befriends him, never realizing the effect their relationship will have on her close-knit circle of friends—or its explosive impact on her own marriage.

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Excerpt

Chapter 2




"The great question . . . which I have not been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is `What does a woman want?’”—Sigmund Freud




It’s been two days since Halloween, and as of lunchtime today, Mickey’s head has a clean bill of health. Not a louse in site. Tomorrow he’s back in school.



To celebrate—and to rid ourselves of the cabin fever we’re experiencing—Mickey and I sneak out with our Labrador, Harvey, to Paradise Park while school is still in session. I figure this is okay, since there will be no one there to infect, anyway. ... view entire excerpt...

Discussion Questions

From the author:
1. The town of Paradise Heights is portrayed as an upscale enclave for mostly upper income families. What did you think of the author’s portrayal of the people in this town? Do you admire or admonish them? Envy them for all of their material wealth, or pity them for the emotional balance they lack? Or both?
2. Why do you think Lyssa is so drawn to Harry Wilder at the beginning of the novel? Does she really just feel sorry for him, or is she projecting her own childhood experience with divorce on his circumstance? How are both Lyssa's and Harry's experiences with divorce different, and how are they similar?
3. Lyssa spends most of her time socializing with the women who make up the executive board of the Paradise Heights Women’s League. They are depicted mostly as villains in the novel – especially their ringleader, Margot. In fact, the league board is called “the Coven” by those less popular mommies they've nicknamed "the undesirables," and all of them have been given nicknames of fairy tale witches. What, if anything, is attractive about the power wielded by the members of this cruel clique? Where do you think they derive their power?
4. Do you think that all the members of Paradise Heights Women’s League are equally guilty of bad social behavior? Does a follower like, say, Colleen, who silently allows Margot to behave atrociously, deserve just as much blame as the queen bee herself?
5. At times, the character of Lyssa seems both needy and eager-to-please. Her friend Brooke likens her to a puppy, saying, “If someone scratched your belly, you’d never leave their lap” (p. 253). How do you think Lyssa changes over the course of the novel? What role does her relationship with Harry play in that transformation?
6. Many of the adults in the novel seem less well behaved than their children, and Lyssa spends a lot of time worrying about the example that she and the rest of the adults in her social circle are setting for their children. They get into fights at basketball games, and shamelessly throw themselves at the husbands of their friends. How did you feel about the way the adults in this novel conducted themselves? Have you personally witnessed similar behavior in a social setting? Did you think less of Lyssa for surrounding herself with people who acted the way they did? Is Lyssa a good parent?
7. What did you think of the way Ted withheld intimacy from Lyssa and then used it as a means of marking his territory when he became jealous of Lyssa’s relationship with Harry? Did you find it odd that Lyssa admittedly enjoyed being used by Ted as a way of proving his dominance over Harry?
8. At one point, Lyssa's mother questions her daughter's need to have married "The One." And DeeDee very pointedly remarks that, “no marriage is perfect." Almost every relationship in the novel is unstable. What do you think is the author’s opinion of marriage? Would it surprise you to learn that she has been happily married to the same man for more than twenty years, and like her, he is a journalist who covers relationship trends?
9. Is it significant that DeeDee is the only one who's admitted – and acted on the fact – that her marriage made her unhappy?
10. Lyssa is concerned that Harry may be labeled an “undesirable” and, admittedly, dreads it for herself. Do you think that the need for the approval and admiration of our peers can ever be overcome? Can a person be truly happy with themselves without some sort of recognition from others, or will we always need to be noticed in order to be happy with ourselves?
11. As a character, Lyssa can be a little judgmental. She is quick to find fault with her friends and to point out when they’re in denial and yet, she is blind to the problems in her own life. Are most people better at finding faults with others than at looking within? Why?
12. What is the significance of Lyssa’s relationship with her mother and father? How do you think the example of her parents’ marriage affected the way she handled her own romantic relationships with both Ted and Harry? How does the news that her father didn’t abandon her help Lyssa to re-evaluate her views on love and relationships?
13. The Paradise Heights basketball team plays a game at a rival school that displays a banner in its gym reading, “We Own You”. How do you think the wealth of some of the characters in this book affects their view of the world? How does it affect their children?
14. Although the novel takes place in an exclusive community, a place where most people could never afford to live, are there certain commonalities you noticed between the characters in this book, and the less elite? What sorts of problems transcend class barriers?
15. How did you feel about the way the novel ended? Were you at all upset that Lyssa immediately jumped from marriage to Ted to marriage to Harry? Did you want her to strike out on her own and prove her independence? What did you think of the way Lyssa’s relationship with Ted was concluded? Did you want him to get more of a comeuppance?

(1) Each chapter begins with a quote about love and relationships. Which quote was your favorite? Did
any strike particularly close to home? Have you received any advice in your own life that rivals the
advice offered in these quotes?
(2) The mean‐mommy clique is part of a long hallowed literary and film tradition that depicts the
cattiness with which some women relate to one another. Watch, read, and discuss other books and
movies the depict similarly icy relationships between women (see: anything by Jane Austen, Jane
Eyre, Cinderella, Mean Girls, Heathers, The Women, etc.). Discuss how you think these portrayals of
female‐on‐female emotional violence affect societal views of women.
(3) One of the many ways that the women in this book jockey for social superiority is through their
baking skills (think of DeeDee’s gingerbread man triumph over Lyssa). Have a friendly bake‐off of
your own and see who can bake the best treat for your book club.
(4) Visit josiebrown.com for more information about the author and her previous novels.
(5) If Josie is touring near you, she is open to being hosted by you, for your club. You can see her
touring itinerary on her website. All she asks is that you have at least 20 members in attendance, and that
you fax (1-270-918-7753) or email me ([email protected]) the receipts/confirmations of their purchases of
her book. She'll be making this offer to several book clubs in your area, so if you'd like her to attend email back
to her promptly so she can put it on her schedule.

Notes From the Author to the Bookclub

Note from the Author:

What would you do if you discovered that the person you love the most is the one you know the least? In Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives, I explore the perceptions—and deceptions—affecting two marriages and the community in which these couples live.

You can read an excerpt on my website. Afterward, enter my contest for a chance to win a $200 Target gift.

Thanks for your consideration,

—Josie Brown

"Hollywood's got nothing on the cast of characters living in the bedroom community of Paradise Heights, who have the secrets, sex, money and scandal of an OK! Magazine cover story. Josie Brown is a skilled observer whose clever dialogue and feisty style make for truly entertaining reading." —Jackie Collins, Poor Little Bitch Girl

" Josie Brown captures the highs and lows of love, lust and marriage with heartwrenching pathos…The perfect beach read!" —Lisa Rinna, actress, and author of the novel, Starlit, and the personal growth book, Rinnavation

"I loved this juicy-as-it-it-is-heartfelt novel about love, marriage, friendship--and sharp, manicured claws. Could not put it down!" —Melissa Senate, The Secret of Joy

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