Introduction

An inspirational account of one dad's extraordinary journey through cancer, fatherhood, and several forgotten life lessons--and the discovery of one life-changing gift
 
Jim Higley was a forty-year-old bobblehead. Just like those collectible figurines with oversized, bouncy heads, he'd put on a smiling face and bobble through his hectic, overflowing days.
 
Higley's bobbling came to a screeching halt with the diagnosis of cancer, surgery, and a summer of healing. More than a cancer story, however, Bobblehead Dad puts you in a front row seat as the author discovers the illuminating parallels between events in his childhood and his adulthood. Higley, whose weekly fatherhood column appears in the Chicago Tribune's TribLocal, unwraps poignant lessons from his family history with rich, vivid detail. His story reveals meaning in simple moments and the people who fill them--including the surprise discovery of his most important lesson, which had been quietly waiting for over thirty years.
 
Written in an informal but eloquent style, Bobblehead Dad keeps you laughing, crying and--most importantly--thinking. Higley's distinctive storytelling rhythm, combined with a knack for handling heavy topics with an embraceable voice, quickly draws you into his experiences--while launching you on your own journey of self-discovery and reflection.

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Excerpt

Introduction

Hello. I’m a Bobblehead.

As a kid, I collected bobbleheads. As an adult, I had become one.

With four older brothers, I sort of inherited their old bobblehead dolls when I was a young boy. They were all baseball player bobbleheads. Truthfully, I didn’t even like baseball that much, but I thought it was fun to play with the little figurines and their spring-loaded heads.

My favorite was a Mickey Mantle bobblehead. I liked seeing how long I could keep his noggin in motion with just the right flick from my index finger. Too hard and I’d end up with a spastic head jerk that came to a sudden stop. Too soft and the toy suffered the same fate. But when I found that perfect amount of pressure, I’d enjoy a bobble that would go on for a long, carefree bounce until the head ultimately rebalanced itself.

I was easily amused.

I also was fascinated by how Mickey’s face would maintain a permanent, frozen smile no matter how fast or furious his head rocked.

Thirty-some years later, I was much like that bobblehead, going through the motions of life—perfect smile and all—just bouncing away. By all accounts, I was living a full and abundant life with my family and my career. And, to a great degree, I was. Maybe you knew me back then. I was firing on all cylinders, always in a constant state of motion, and looking pretty stable.

At the time, I even thought I was doing pretty well. But the truth is things were moving so fast in my world, I stopped connecting with the events, experiences, and people waiting for me in each day. I survived by bobbling.

My best bobbling, I’m ashamed to say, was saved for my three kids. Consumed with a job that had me leaving the house long before they were up, I was exhausted by the time I arrived home in the evening.

“Wudya do today?” was my standard question for the kids as I tried to connect in some way to the worlds that were theirs.

As a young grade-schooler, my daughter, Wallis, would always provide feature-length film descriptions of her day, recounting every eye-opening experience and emotion. Like helium escaping from a balloon, her words couldn’t come fast enough. And there I was, wearing my Mickey Mantle smile, bobbling along and pretending to listen while many of her words ricocheted off me at lightning speed.

Bad. Bobbling. Dad.

Unfortunately, kids are smart, and they quickly sense when you’re not really paying attention to them. So they stop talking and, eventually, just grunt or nod.

That’s how we became a bobblehead dad and his three nodding children.

When I reached the age of forty-four, however, my bobbling came to a screeching halt. It was much like the day—as a child—I accidentally stretched Mickey Mantle’s head a little too far and snapped the spring. When my own bobbling world snapped, I found myself with an entire summer at home removed from all of life’s obligations.

How does a middle-aged guy manage to land an entire summer off? Well, I had cancer. It’s something my parents and siblings encounter with regularity. Some families have red hair. Or they spawn a lot of tall people. Mine produces very ordinary people who have a propensity for cancer. So I had plenty of training under my belt when my own world was turned upside down with surgery and a summer at home to heal.

But this is not only a cancer story. It’s a story about a dad who had a chance—at the halftime show of his life—to stop bobbling and relearn many of the life lessons he’d forgotten. It’s a story that reveals the meaning found in simple moments and the people who fill them.

Most importantly for me, it’s the story that unfolded a road map to living the second half of my life with intent. view abbreviated excerpt only...

Discussion Questions

From the author:

Did you enjoy this book? How did it make you feel?

Did Bobblehead Dad transport you to your own childhood? Did it cause you to reflect more on the life and people you touch today?

What did you think of the author’s voice?

The publisher debated a great deal whether this book was a memoir, a self-help or an inspirational story. How do you perceive it?

What imagery did you see in the cover photo of the little boy swimming?

While the overall message of the book is not unique, did the story deliver that message in a fresh, enjoyable manner?

Was the story what you thought it would be?

This book covers a broad range of themes including parenting, motherhood, fatherhood, death, cancer, adversity, careers, mid-life crisis, and self-identity. Were any of these areas more meaningful to you?

Jim shares 25 life lessons he forgot he knew. Do you feel he is suggesting that these are his most important 25 life lessons?

Did this book make you want to do anything?

Did you have a favorite chapter? If so why? (Jim’s favorite was his “running” story. Why do you think that is?)

Does this book work well as a book club selection?


Let’s talk book structure…

What did you think of the chapter titles?

What was your reaction to the format of each chapter—leading with a “memory” story which lead into the chronologically accurate story of Jim’s summer?

Did you use any of the reflective questions at the end of the book?

Did you feel photographs were used effectively to introduce each chapter?

Memoirs/Personal stories provide glimpses into characters, but only those glimpses that the author is willing to reveal. After finishing the book, do you feel as though you understand the journey Jim went through?

The structure and format of the book (the use of flashback stories to introduce the present-day events) largely reveals the overall message of the book: Our life lessons are truly hidden in the vanilla moments of our life. Was that apparent to you?

Let’s talk about the characters…

Jim’s mom, Betty, is largely canonized in this story. What were your reactions to her?

Jim shares his very deep belief that his brother Kevin remains part his life, even after his death. How did you react to the story of Kevin “speaking” to Drew while Jim was painting?

Jim shares his feelings toward his own father, Bob, in the Prologue when he shares their conversation in Long John Silver’s. Did you receive a consistent message throughout the book as to why Bob’s commitment to his children played such a strong influence on Jim throughout his life?

Were you drawn to other characters in the book?

Jim intentionally never shares the gift that Karen received during her cancer journey. Did you pick up on that? If so, were you curious about her gift?

Let’s talk about cancer and adversity…

Jim makes a statement that this book is “more than a cancer story.” Do you agree?

Were you ever burdened by the storyline of cancer throughout the book?

Let’s talk about similar books…

Did Bobblehead Dad remind you of other books?

How would you compare Bobblehead Dad to The Last Lecture, Tuesdays with Morrie, The Middle Place, or Three Weeks with my Brother (Nick Sparks).

Let’s talk about audience…

Who do you think Jim wrote this book for?

Who do you think would enjoy this book?

Who do you think would NOT enjoy this book?

Jim has a strong readership of college students. Why do you think that is the case?

Let’s talk about what you’ll remember…

If you were to make a bumper sticker from one of the lessons, which one would it be?

Was there a “memory” that you most related to?

Jim shares vivid details about his memories of things like going to his dad’s office, planting flowers with his mom, or spending carefree summers in Nebraska. Did any of his stories transport you back to some of your own memories?

Was there one primary message you took away from this?

Did Jim’s use of the “strike-through” key when talking about his mother and her typed letters have any impact on you?

Did you happen to read the Acknowledgments—particularly Jim’s closing note to his own mother?

What was your reaction to the Heartsill Wilson poem which Jim discovered in his mother’s purse and the recent connection Jim had with Heartsill’s family?

On page 179, Jim talks about Karen’s promise coming true as well as his discovering the gift his mom had left him when he was fourteen years old. Were the gifts one in the same?

One word review?

Weblinks

»	Official web site for Bobblehead Dad
»	Facebook Page for Bobblehead Dad
»	Twitter Page for Author Jim Higley
»	Contact Jim to request a call-in to your book club Jim is available to call-in to book clubs via Skype or speakerphone as well as meet with clubs in the Chicago area.

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