Introduction

How can she believe God cherishes her when she can't forgive herself?

Kelli London once dreamed of being a songwriter. As crazy as it seemed, she hoped that God would use the lyrics that came to her while she slept. She dreamed about Brian too, that the love they shared would be a forever kind of love. But choices she'll forever regret upended her hope . . . and turned her dreams to dust. When those dreams come knocking once more, she's forced to deal with the pain of the past.

Heather Anderson's life has spun out of control-first, an affair with a married man, then a one-night stand with the drummer of a popular Christian band that left her devastated. Broken and alone, she cried out to the only One who can save her. And He did. But that's just the beginning, because now she must leave behind the only life she's ever known.

Two women with shame-filled pasts form an unlikely friendship. What does God's forgiveness look like for them? Will they ever believe that He loves them . . . and can still offer them a life where they are cherished?

Editorial Review

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Excerpt

one

K elli London took her place on the piano bench and waited for her cue, grateful that her jittery hands were hidden from the crowd. She shouldn't have agreed to do this, but she loved

her brother and had never seen him happier. How could she say no

to singing at his wedding?

But it was the song Cedric had asked her to sing, one he'd

heard only by chance. He had no idea what it meant to her. He

didn't know that singing it would unleash memories of the last per-

son she ever wanted to think about.

Laughter rose from the pews, and Kelli looked up, wondering

what she'd missed.

". . . and I'm sure Cedric wants me to get to the vows ASAP,"

Pastor Lyles was saying, "so they can get to that kiss they've been

waiting for."

Kelli had only met the pastor once before, at her brother

Lindell's wedding last fall, but it didn't take long to love his spirit

and his style. A black man in his late fifties, he'd started Living

Word Community Church decades ago and watched it grow into

a multi-ethnic megachurch. At least a couple hundred members

were here today. Kelli guessed none of them thought twice about

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the various hues and accents that had gathered to see this black

couple wed. She loved that spirit too.

Cedric was shaking his head with a shamefaced grin as the pas-

tor called him out. Cyd was smiling up at him, gorgeous, beaming

like the bright light she'd become in Cedric's life.

Pastor Lyles continued. "But I don't think he'll mind one last

song, and it's a special one, written by his sister."

Kelli drew a deep breath as Cedric and Cyd smiled over at her,

Lindell and Stephanie too--the flip side of last fall. Then Stephanie

and Lindell were the bride and groom, and Cyd and Cedric were

maid of honor and best man, which was how they met. Kelli loved

the story, how Cyd turned forty on her younger sister's wedding

day, thinking she'd never marry herself. Now here she was--a June

bride. It was romantic that her brothers would now be married to

sisters, but it somehow added to her melancholy, that each of them

had found the love of his life.

Kelli gazed at the piano keys, and knowing they had to, her

fingers tapped the first notes. She fought to stay in the moment, in

the church. Her eyes swept Cyd and Cedric, imagined the lyrics

were just for them . . .

I will love you till the stars don't shine

And I will love you till the oceans run dry

I will love you till you know every why

I will, I will

Her eyes closed, and he was there. A shiver of remembrance

danced down her arms. She could still see that distant look in his eyes,

could even hear him, that tone of indifference that echoed forever

in her head. Kelli opened her eyes to capture another image--any

image--but he was everywhere now. And her heart allowed itself to

be crushed all over again.

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I will love you like an endless stream

A million miles won't take your heart from me

I will love you every breath you breathe

I will, I will

Almost to the bridge, Kelli could feel her emotions cresting with

the song. She closed her eyes again as they took over, filling her voice,

magnifying her range, powering her through. She played the final

chords with the salt of tears on her lips and bowed her head at the last

note . . . and heard--applause? She looked out and saw the guests on

their feet and Cedric and Cyd fully turned, facing her--Cyd wiping

tears from her cheeks. With her own anxiety about singing it, Kelli

hadn't given thought to whether people might actually like the song.

She pulled a tissue from the box atop the piano, dabbed her

cheeks, and blew her nose, then muscled a heart-heavy smile to

acknowledge everyone's kindness. When she moved back to the front

pew beside her mother, only then did the guests stop clapping and sit.

"When did you write that?" her mother asked, patting her

thigh. "That was beautiful."

"Thanks, Mom. I wrote it . . . a long time ago."

She turned her gaze to the ceremony, her heart beating a little

faster still, puzzled by the response to the song. It coaxed a different

memory to the surface, and as Cyd and Cedric exchanged vows,

Kelli thought about her long-ago dream of writing music that God

would somehow use. Then the better part of her brain kicked in,

reminding her that she'd left songwriting behind, that she knew

better than to dream.

That all those dreams had turned to dust.

"K el l i ! Gir r r l . . ."

Kelli looked up--midpivot in the Electric Slide--and saw

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Stephanie threading her way through the line dancers in her

champagne-colored dress. Soon as the song started, it seemed every-

body left tables and mingled to claim a spot on the parquet floor.

Kelli waved her sister-in-law over.

"I've been looking for you." Stephanie scooted between Kelli

and Devin, a nine-year-old cousin, as rows of people sidestepped

to the right. "I haven't had a chance to tell you . . . girl, you sang

that song. I had no idea--hold up, am I doing this right?" She was

headed a different direction from everyone else. "Why am I even

out here? I hate this stupid dance."

Kelli laughed. "Back, Steph. We're going back."

"Oh." Stephanie checked Devin to get in sync, then leaned her

head Kelli's way again, her voice elevated. "Anyway, I told Lindell I

couldn't believe he didn't tell me about that song, 'cause I would've

had you sing it at our wedding. And he said he'd never heard it . . .

and then I couldn't believe that."

"I know. Crazy, right? This way, Steph. Pivot left."

Stephanie was behind her now, and Kelli turned to make sure

she was following, but Devin had it under control.

Like a traffic cop, he moved his hands left, then right to direct

her which way to go next. "And pivot," he announced, to the amuse-

ment of those around them.

Side by side with Stephanie again, Kelli continued. "Lindell

and Cedric had already moved out of the house by the time I started

writing songs in high school, so it was easy to kind of keep my music

to myself." She shrugged. "Cedric overheard it because I didn't

know he was there."

"Hmph," Stephanie said. "If I had that kind of talent, every-

body would know about it. They'd have to tell me to be quiet."

The music switched, and they could hear people near the

center of the floor cheering, "Go, Cyd! Go, Cedric! Go, Cyd! Go,

Cedric!"

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Kelli and Stephanie craned their necks, moving toward the

action.

"Oh, goodness," Stephanie said, laughing. "Look at your brother.

He's at it again."

Kelli laughed too, remembering Cedric and Cyd on the dance

floor at Stephanie and Lindell's reception. Now the two had cut a

wide swath in the middle of the floor with a different line dance,

this one a little livelier.

Kelli and Stephanie worked their way to a spot in the inner

circle.

"Have you seen this version?" Stephanie asked.

Kelli nodded. "But you know Cedric's gonna add his own twist."

Instead of a simple sidestep, Cedric led Cyd in bouncy moves

to the left, with a slide before going right. And instead of a normal

pivot, they did some kind of kick, kick, turn--with Cedric twirling

Cyd into a two-step before moving back to the line dance, all of it

seamless. The crowd was fired up.

After a couple of rounds, Cedric spotted Kelli and pulled her

to the center.

"I don't know if you can hang with a twenty-five-year-old, big

brother." Although Cedric was a fit forty-two, Kelli didn't miss an

opportunity to tease him about his age. "I'd hate to embarrass you

in front of your guests."

"Oh, you got jokes? We'll see about that, baby sis."

Cyd led the cheers this time as Kelli whipped some different

moves on him. Cedric paused, then mimicked every last one to let

her know she couldn't show him up. Lindell dragged Stephanie

out there--literally--and Kelli was in stitches watching them try

to copy what she and Cedric were doing. Soon everyone on the

floor had joined in again, and then the music switched to Motown,

which got its own cheers.

Cedric draped one arm around Kelli and the other around Cyd

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and led them off the floor. They stopped at the bridal party table,

which had emptied of all but Dana, one of Cyd's bridesmaids.

"Why aren't you on the dance floor?" Cedric asked. "We need

all the forty-and-over folk representing."

Dana glared at him. "Let's see how well you `represent' with

some heels on. My feet are killing me." Then she nodded toward

the dance floor. "My husband left me. He's out there with the kids.

And last I saw, Scott wasn't representing too well either. He looked

almost as bad as Stephanie with that Electric Slide."

"I heard that, Dana," Stephanie said, walking up with Lindell.

"I could learn the dumb dance if I cared to. And since you're try-

ing to clown me, I might do it just to keep my black rhythm points.

Can't have a white guy showing me up."

Dana got a kick out of that, laughing as auburn wisps fell about

her face. "How about a white girl? Let's tell the deejay to play it

again and see who's got it."

Stephanie eased into a seat. "Uh, no thanks. I always told you,

you're one of those black white girls. You can go on the dance floor."

Dana eyed the dancers out there. "Well, pray for Mackenzie. I

think the poor thing takes after Scott. Look at them."

Kelli's heart was smiling. Because she lived out of state, she

didn't know these women well--not even her sisters-in-law--but

from her brief interactions, including last night's rehearsal dinner,

she could tell she would like them.

Cyd pulled out a chair and sat, her beautiful gown, passed

down from her mother, swishing over the sides. "Ahh . . . think I

can get away with sitting like this for maybe five minutes?"

Cedric massaged her shoulders. "You're good. The Jackson

Five's got everybody occupied."

Dana touched Kelli's arm. "The bridal table was talking about

you earlier."

"Me? Why?" Kelli took a seat.

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"Are you kidding? That song. It was beautiful."

Kelli blushed. "Thank you."

"That's my little sister." Cedric beamed.

"Mine too!" Lindell said, giving her shoulder a squeeze. "So

proud of you, girl." He looked at the others. "Just got her master's

too, from UT­Austin."

"I heard," Dana said. "Is your degree in music?"

Kelli shook her head. "One's in communications and the other's

in public relations."

"Wow, two?" Dana nodded. "That's awesome."

"Well . . . not really. Just means I didn't know what I wanted to

do." Kelli didn't mind admitting it. "But I'm done being a profes-

sional student. I'm looking for a job now--"

"--in Texas." Cedric's tone made clear what he thought of that.

"What part of Texas?" Stephanie asked. "Are you trying to stay

in Austin?"

"I've been looking at possibilities in Austin and Houston . . .

and Dallas."

"Mostly Dallas, I'd bet," Cedric said. "That's where her boyfriend

is." He looked around playfully. "Where is he anyway? I wanted to

meet him, see if he measures up. What's his name? Miller?"

Kelli smirked at her big brother. "Miles. Miles Reed. He wanted

to meet you all too, but he had a conflict."

"I'm sure we'll get another opportunity," Cedric said, "if I can

get you to move back to St. Louis."

Cyd perked up. "Ooh, Kelli, I'd love that. Any chance?"

"I . . . doubt it." Kelli hedged to be polite; her mind had said a

fast no. She hadn't lived in St. Louis since she left for college, and the

distance had been good. Her mother had relocated to Little Rock to

care for her mother, so Kelli had gone there on school breaks.

"How's the job market in Texas?" Cedric asked. "Improved any?"

Cedric knew the answer perfectly well. He was a VP at a

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head-hunting firm. He'd made some calls for her, but nothing had

materialized.

"Not exactly," Kelli admitted. "I've been looking since early in

the year, and, well . . . it's nearing the end of June."

Lindell rubbed his chin. "I'm thinking you can be unemployed

in St. Louis just as well as in Austin."

Cedric gave a big nod to his brother. "Better than in Austin. In

St. Louis, you can be unemployed and hang out with your brothers."

Cyd raised a hand. "And sisters. Don't forget about us."

"All of us," Dana said. "We'd love to plug you into Daughters'

Fellowship."

"What's that?" Kelli asked.

"It started years ago with Dana, Phyllis, and me." Cyd pointed

toward the dance floor at her other bridesmaid. "Real informal. We'd

do potluck and talk about--sometimes cry about--what God was

doing in our lives. Stephanie crashed the party last year." Cyd smiled

at her younger sister. "It's evolved into kind of a Bible study/gabfest."

"Emphasis on gab," Cedric said. "Amazing how two hours can

turn into five--every single time. You'd think you'd run out of things

to talk about."

"Now, now, brother," Lindell said, "don't exaggerate. I think it

was four and a half hours last time."

Cedric and Lindell shared a laugh as the women pounced.

"We're praying too, you know," Dana said. "Getting that fuel

we need to be the best we can be."

"Lindell knows." Stephanie gave him the eye. "I left the house

with an attitude before that last meeting. Came back changed.

Didn't I?"

Lindell threw up his hands. "Hey, I'm not complaining. I might

be the biggest DF fan at the table. Stephanie's not the same woman

I married."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

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"Babe, that's a good thing! I'm just sayin'."

Kelli laughed as Lindell backpedaled. For years her brothers

had been busy with their careers, living the bachelor life. Hadn't

occurred to them or her that they should live near one another, be

a part of each other's lives. But now they were both settled down,

with wives Kelli would love to know better. She'd always wanted sis-

ters. And it was strange that she, Cyd, and Stephanie kind of looked

alike--all of them tall with honey brown skin and long brown hair.

And Daughters' Fellowship sounded great. Her own relation-

ship with God wasn't where it should be. She'd known that for some

time. Just wasn't sure how to get it back on the right track. The

thought of getting together with these women, talking and learning

from them, felt like water to her parched soul.

If only it were in another city . . .

Kelli sighed as she looked around the table at the laughter, the

ribbing, the love. Did she really want to stay in Austin, away from

all of this?

And what about Miles? They'd been dating almost a year.

Although he'd graduated from UT­Austin last December and moved

back to Dallas, the distance didn't seem so great with them both in

Texas. Still, they were already several hours apart. Would a few more

make a huge difference?

Kelli looked up as her mother stopped at their table.

"Hey, it's my gorgeous mother," Cedric said, placing an arm

around her.

"No, it's my gorgeous mother," Lindell said, hugging her other

side.

Francine London glowed with pride. "You boys are something

else," she said. "And I didn't come to see y'all. I came to see how my

daughters-in-law are doing."

"Oh, it's like that now?" Cedric asked. "I get married, and I get

kicked to the curb?"

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Francine laughed, keeping her arms around her sons' waists.

"I'm wondering what's gonna happen when you all start having my

grandchildren. I'm not gonna like being all the way in Little Rock."

"You need to move back too," Lindell said.

Francine dismissed it with a shake of the head. "Your grand-

mother's not doing well, can't get around, so we're better off

staying put."

"Well, help us convince your daughter to move back," Cedric

said. "We've been working on her."

Francine looked at Kelli, nodding. "I was thinking about that

today, how nice it would be if you could be around your brothers

and their wives. You know I'm big on family."

"Yes, I know, Mom." Kelli cut them off at the pass. "So . . .

which one of you would be willing to let your little sister move in?"

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view abbreviated excerpt only...

Discussion Questions

1. A central message of Cherished is that you are cherished by God and nothing can separate you from His love. Do you believe that deep in your heart?
2. It was hard for Kelli to consider what God might want to do in her life, because of her past. Is there anything in your past that you feel “disqualifies” you from being used by God? Has the book caused you to see that differently?
3. Have you distanced yourself from God as Kelli did? What prevents you from drawing close to Him again? How do you feel He will receive you?
4. The women in Daughters’ Fellowship have a “DF check” from Proverbs 3:5-6. If one of them is trying to figure out what to do, they ask themselves whether they’re leaning on their own understanding or acknowledging and trusting God? Do you tend to be a “leaner” or an “acknowledger”?
5. The tagline of the Songwriters’ Summit asked, “What were you made to do?” Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” Do you believe God has a plan for your life, something you were made to do? Have you asked Him what that is? Do you believe you’re walking in those plans?
6. Stephanie charged Kelli to believe that “all things are possible,” from Mark 9:23. Do you tend to place limits on what God can do through you, or do you believe that all things are possible through Christ?
7. Heather came to the end of herself after the incident with Ace and was propelled to the foot of the cross. Has there been a painful circumstance in your life that caused you to see Christ more clearly?
8. Heather wondered if God could love “someone like her.” Have you ever felt you weren’t good enough for God’s love? Did you discuss it with someone who assured you of the truth?
9. Heather had a change of heart, such that she wanted to get to know Jesus above all else in her life. Do you have a hunger to walk with Jesus and know Him better? Do you take the time to pursue Him?
10. Brian wasn’t sure of God’s plan for his life, but was willing to go whichever way the Lord led. Are you willing to ask and follow God’s will for your life?
11. In the “Heart of a Psalmist” session, the panel discussed how to keep a right heart in the business they were in. How do you keep a right heart before God?
12. If you are in a group setting, statistics say that 1 out of 4 of you have had an abortion. Without anyone having to openly divulge this, take a moment in your group to pray for complete healing for those women. If you are alone and the book has uncovered emotional pain from an abortion, please pray to God for healing and seek help, if necessary. God’s arms are open.
13. Ephesians 4:32 says, “And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” Dana had difficulty forgiving Heather for what she’d done, and Kelli had difficulty forgiving Brian. Is there someone in your life whom you find hard to forgive? Have you sought God’s grace to help?
14. Cyd led Heather and Kelli through the Bible so they could see who they are in God’s eyes. Do you know your identity in Christ? Do you walk in it?
15. Do you have any unlikely friendships, such as Kelli and Heather’s, that sprung up as a result of God’s work in your life and heart?
16. What character did you identify with most in the book?
17. What aspect of Cherished spoke most to your heart?

From the publisher

Weblinks

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