How one family fought the myth that you have to destroy childhood in order to raise extraordinary adults.

What does a 'successful? child look like?

If you imagined a straight-A-earning, classical-music-playing, rule-following, Ivy-bound prodigy, you?re not alone.

This is what I thought my kid should look like, too.

I was determined to raise my child in this image, no matter the cost. After all, I was one of those kids (Columbia University, Class of 1989). The traditional path to success sure worked for me.

In other words, I was a classic tiger mother.

But life intervened in ways I couldn?t have imagined. I was faced with two choices: Impose my will no matter the trauma. Or, take a frightening, uncharted path?

?to where?

A sub-standard child, unable to succeed on the level I had?

Did letting up mean letting my child down?

Answering these questions took my family on a fascinating journey. What looked and felt like failure after failure on adult terms led to a different kind of success: mad creativity, fierce independence, and relentless self-direction.

In other words, everything an adult needs to make it in today's world.

So what does a successful child look like?

She looks like my child. And if you consider a similar path by relaxing, backing off, letting up, and settling down, she (or he) just might look a lot like yours.


(Diana Holquist is the award-winning author of six novels. She's won the New York Book Festival award for Best Novel; has garnered a coveted starred review from Publisher's Weekly; and, she's been a RITA and Reader's Choice Award finalist. She lives in Philadelphia with her husband, two kids, and two cats. She also writes small-town women's fiction under the pseudonym Sophie Gunn.)

PRAISE FOR NOVELS BY DIANA HOLQUIST:

"With characters so real, they jump off the page..." --Doubleday Book Club

?(Holquist)...raises some serious issues, leaving readers? eyes shining both with happiness and tears.? --Library Journal

"...laughter, passion and deeply moving sentiment." --New York Times Bestseller Robyn Carr

"...humor, warmth, emotions, characters that step off the page..." --New York Times Bestseller Mariah Stewart

"...a real treat for readers..." --New York Times Bestseller Susan Wiggs

"...Holquist is one for the keeper shelf." --Parksberg News and Sentinel

?A delightful debut...? --Booklist, starred review

Recommended to book clubs by 0 of 0 members.