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Almost Amish
by Kathryn Cushman

Published: 2012-07-01
Kindle Edition : 0 pages
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"Cushman crafts strong characters that areeasy to connect with."--Romantic TimesJulie Charlton is at the breaking point. She's overwhelmed and burned out, and in today's unrelenting society, her kids are, too. When her sister-in-law Susan, a Martha Stewart-in-training, lands the chance to ...
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Introduction

"Cushman crafts strong characters that areeasy to connect with."--Romantic TimesJulie Charlton is at the breaking point. She's overwhelmed and burned out, and in today's unrelenting society, her kids are, too. When her sister-in-law Susan, a Martha Stewart-in-training, lands the chance to participate in a reality TV series promoting simple living, and needs another family to join her, it seems like the perfect opportunity.The location is an idyllic farm outside an Amish community in Tennessee. Julie, with her two children, joins Susan and her teenage daughter for a summer adventure. Susan needs to succeed in order to become self-sufficient after an ugly divorce, Julie needs to slow down long enough to remember what her priorities are and regain a sense of purpose and meaning. It becomes clear from the start that "living simple" is no simple matter. With the camera watching every move, Susan's drive for perfection feels a lot like what they left behind, while Julie suddenly finds herself needing to stand up for slowing down. With each new challenge, their season of "going Amish" gets more and more complicated, as each woman learns unexpected lessons about herself and her family.

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Excerpt

Prologue

The cupcakes drooped like wilted daisies. Instead of the nice rounded tops shown in the recipe book, they leaned left. Or right. And a few managed to sag both ways at once.

Julie Charlton carried the tray into the junior high’s mul-ti­purpose room, purposely keeping her eyes averted from her frosted nightmare. She had put so much time and effort into these. Why did her baking never turn out right, espe-cially when she was under pressure? Especially now, with the semiformal eighth-grade parent-child dance only hours away?

Scores of balloons hovered at the ceiling, dangling red, black, and white ribbons in festive chaos. Streamers formed graceful arches against the walls; glitter sparkled on the windowsills. Everything looked festive, and inten-tional, and flawless. Everything except for Julie’s cupcakes. She looked around the room to see who might be there, but saw no one. “Hello?”

Nothing but silence.

What luck. Julie could at least drop these off and escape without having to acknowledge the debacle of flour, sugar, and eggs that had taken hours of her morning. She carried her load over to the food table, which was draped in a black tablecloth with a gold lamé runner, and placed the cupcakes as far away as possible from the crystal pedestal at the end of the table. She knew that Colleen’s famous chocolate cake would be highlighted there before the be-ginning of this evening’s soiree. Not one single inch of fon-dant would be out of place, and it would be displayed in all its splendor for the eighth graders and their parents to admire and devour. Meanwhile, her misshapen little cup-cakes would hide at the far end of the table, hoping no one noticed them.

She hurried back to her car, thankful that at least one thing had gone right this morning. Now, she needed to get over to the high school for the meeting of the financial committee and could only hope no one would notice the chocolate frosting stain on her spreadsheet. She’d known it was a bad idea to balance the volleyball team’s bank ac-count and bake at the same time, but both things were due this morning. What other choice was there?

She glanced down at her watch. 10:30 A.M. Forty-five minutes until the meeting. Maybe she could run home for just a few minutes. She’d left the kitchen a complete wreck. By now, cupcake batter and frosting were likely dried onto every available counter, cupboard, and backsplash. She needed to get started on the cleanup.

No. There wasn’t time.

Yet if she drove straight to the school now, she’d be there half an hour early. A wave of exhaustion flowed over her, making her wish for a pillow and a blanket. How was she going to make it through today?

As she drove past the movie theater, she saw the answer in all of its green and white glory.

Starbucks.

Minutes later, Julie sat at a small window table, enjoying her tall fat-free double-shot latte. By the sixth sip, she could feel the caffeine start to slowly filter energy into her body. She leaned back and simply savored one of her fa-vorite pastimes: people watching. How long had it been since she’d taken the time to do this?

A couple of women entered, talking back and forth at a rapid pace, complaining about a coworker who apparently messed up a report. Julie recognized them both as mothers from the junior high that Brian attended. Would they be at The Soiree this evening, eating ugly cupcakes and wonder-ing what kind of terrible mother could possibly have the lack of pride to bring these things? No, these women would definitely go for Colleen’s sculpture of a cake—or perhaps broccoli and carrots with fat-free ranch.

Both women were bone thin, sleeveless silk blouses showing off their toned arms. Tailored pants and heels, perfect accessories. It must be so nice to wear pretty clothes like that every day. Julie looked down at her jeans, T-shirt, and sneakers and sighed. Still, she was truly thankful for the gift of being able to stay home with her family.

She took another sip and looked at her watch. Time to go. The financial meeting would last an hour; then she needed to stop by Thomas’s office to help his secretary plan the company barbeque, make a quick stop at the gro-cery and the pharmacy, then home to a kitchen that would be covered in something like chocolate cement. Hopefully she could get it scrubbed off before picking up Brian from chess club. After that it would be time to cook dinner and fight with Whitney about homework.

Julie walked past the businesswomen, now standing at the counter getting napkins. As she passed by, she heard one of them say to the other, “Wouldn’t it be nice if we got to wear comfy clothes and lounge around Starbucks all day?”

That’s when the thought that had been residing in pieces throughout Julie’s mind finally came together and crystal-lized into one cohesive and indelible truth. She made it to her car and simply sat for a moment, trying to get the en-ergy, or desire, to keep moving.

She pulled a tube of lipstick out of her purse, then looked at the tired, middle-aged woman staring back at her in the rearview mirror. It was more than obvious that the haggard reflection felt the same way she did, so there was no reason not to give it voice. “I hate my life.”

There, she’d said it. The words hung heavy in the air, each syllable clogging her lungs with the toxic truth.

Hate.

My life.

Likely, it had been true for longer than she’d even real-ized. For just one fraction of a second, Julie turned the key and considered driving in the opposite direction—leaving behind all she’d known and starting fresh in some new, exciting location. Somewhere with fewer demands and less underappreciated drudgery.

The thought lasted only until a flash vision of her family pulled her back—Whitney’s brows knit together as she waded through her own heavy load of school and activi-ties . . . Brian’s earnest face as he explained the newest as-teroid discovery in deep space and puzzled over bullies at school . . . the lines of exhaustion on Thomas’s face after a hard day at work. They needed her. They needed her sup-port. Who was she to whine about being unhappy? She drove toward the high school, ashamed for even having the thought.

Still, those were the words that echoed through her head, giving her the courage to act, when later that evening her sister-in-law Susan rushed over with an unbelievable request.

“Julie, I’ve got this amazing opportunity, but you’ve got to help me. . . .”

Was it love for Susan or her own need to escape that made her answer yes? Even in the aftermath, Julie would never be completely certain.

Chapter 1

“We’re going live in five, four, three, two, one.” As the countdown culminated, the audience did as they were in-structed and began to clap wildly, as if this moment was the greatest in their lives. An overhead camera swooped forward, and two cameramen walked through the aisles, pausing at anyone who caught their interest.

“Welcome back, everyone.” Lisa Lee stood in the middle of the set, smiling and nodding her appreciation of the ap-plause. The curls in her long black hair bounced with every move she made, framing her face with the same perkiness that permeated everything about her. “I’ve got some peo-ple I’d like for you all to meet, but first, there is exciting news to share.” She gestured toward a large video screen behind her. “Last year we did a three-month segment called Going Almost Blue Blood. Do y’all remember that? Did you enjoy it?” The audience went wild with their cheers as the video screens behind Lisa Lee lit up with snippets from last year showing a middle-class family be-ing placed amid some of New York society’s elite destina-tions, hideaways, and social events.

The host nodded, her perfect smile welcoming and friendly as always. “We enjoyed doing that, so we thought we’d try again, but this time, we’re going to try something just a little different. Everyone on our staff, myself includ-ed, is always talking about how busy our lives are, how we don’t have time to do the things that are really important to us. Can anyone out there relate?” She held out both arms, hands upturned, gesturing toward her audience. Ap-plause, vigorous head nods, and all-out whooping came from the mostly female audience.

“Well, here’s the deal.” Lisa took a seat on a high stool just in front of her cooktop. “We were trying to think of a series we could do on simplification, and how it might work. One of the hairstylists on the show is a big fan of Amish fiction—and she was talking one morning about how wonderful that lifestyle sounded to her. And it got me think-ing . . .” She almost sang the last word, as she was known to do when excited about something. She looked toward the backstage and motioned with her hands. “Okay, y’all come on out here.”

Julie’s knees shook as she took each step onto the stage . . . onto national television. She’d been watching everything unfold on a monitor and now followed her sis-ter-in-law out into the lights, taking her exact place on stage, just as she’d been instructed. Her kids came to stand in front of her, as they’d rehearsed, and she put a hand on each of their shoulders, per plan.

It was really happening.

Lisa Lee moved closer and put her hand on Susan’s shoulder. “This is Susan Reynolds. I’m sure you all re-member her from the occasional cooking features she has done on my show, and this is her daughter, Angie. How old are you, Angie?”

“Seventeen.”

Lisa Lee then moved over to Julie. “This is Susan’s sis-ter-in-law, Julie, and her daughter, Whitney, and son, Brian. And you two are how old?”

“Sixteen.” Whitney’s voice projected loud and strong, showing not a bit of fear.

“Thirteen.” Brian’s voice was barely audible.

Lisa continued. “We’re using some extended family for this scenario, because extended family is very important in the Amish culture.” She smiled again. “So we’re sending this lovely family to spend the summer in Tennessee, near an actual Amish community. They will live without cars, television, or even—can you imagine?—cell phones, for the entire time.” The audience began to “ooh” and “aah” over this. “They’re not completely roughing it. They’ll have a few modern conveniences most of the time, like air-conditioning and a refrigerator—and they will also have indoor bathrooms.” She held up a hand beside her mouth and pretended to be whispering a secret to her au-dience. “That one was their main condition before agreeing to do this.”

The studio audience laughed appreciatively. Lisa cov-ered her mouth and giggled, in a display of cuteness that had made audiences around the world love her. “Each week they’ll have a different challenge—to accomplish a task or work through an issue that the Amish face on a daily basis. By the end of this season, we’ll just see if the Amish way of life is really all that simpler than our lives today, or whether it’s just complicated in a different way. What do you think?” She smiled broadly. “Who thinks this might be our best idea yet?”

The audience went wild with applause.

Julie thought she might throw up.

=

Julie sat numbly in the green room, her mind going over and over the last hour. She thought they’d done well enough, not that any of them had done anything but stand there and smile.

“Wow, look at all this hardware.” Whitney stood next to a shelf full of awards and plaques. “If the Lisa Lee show is really this good, how is it I’ve never even heard of it be-fore?” She picked up a crystal trophy and turned it over in her hands. “This thing is heavy.”

“Whitney, put that down.” Susan, who had been pacing back and forth, rushed over. “The last thing we need is for you to break something.” Then, as if suddenly realizing she might have sounded too harsh, she offered a not-quite-believable smile. “And I’m guessing most girls your age don’t watch too many lifestyle shows. That’s why you’ve never heard of it.”

“I guess.” Whitney set the trophy back on the shelf and shrugged.

The door to the green room opened and Lisa Lee walked in, followed by one of her assistants—a pretty young blonde. Lisa hurried over to Susan, arms outstretched, and drew her into a hug. “Great job.” She looked around the room. “Great job, everyone. The audience was just eating you up. I think this is going to be our most interesting segment yet, don’t you, Jane?”

The blonde looked up from the clipboard in her hands. “I do.”

“Now, kids”—Lisa looked around—“how would you like a tour of the studio? I’m pretty sure Taylor Swift is making a guest appearance on the talk show filming next door. You want to go watch?”

“Yes!” Angie and Whitney hugged each other and jumped up and down.

“Sounds interesting.” Brian’s words were controlled and even, but Julie suspected that even he was considering joining the girls in their Snoopy dance.

“Great. We’ve got a little bit of behind-the-scenes inter-viewing to do with your mother and aunt. Jane is going to take you around the studio. It shouldn’t take us terribly long.”

“Don’t hurry on our account.” Whitney skipped her way to the door, before returning to grab her younger brother by the arm. “Hurry up. We’re going to see Taylor Swift.”

The kids all made a collective squealing sound as they disappeared out the door. Jane giggled and followed them out.

“All right.” Lisa’s dimples seemed to glow in her ev-er-smiling face. “Now that the kids are gone, I’ll take you to your next assignment, your first sit-down interview. Fol-low me.”

She led them down a long hall, stopping about halfway to open a door. Lisa tilted her head toward the small con-ference room inside. “Julie, this is your stop.”

“We’re not doing this together?” She looked toward Su-san, silently begging her to do something.

“For now, you’ll be separate,” Lisa said quite casually. “Have a seat right here, and the producer will be in shortly. Would you like some coffee, water, anything?”

“No, thank you.”

The door shut with a click, but to Julie it sounded more like the clanging lock of a prison holding cell. She stared at the door, awaiting the arrival of the executioner. How many ways were there to say something stupid on national television? “Get a grip, Julie.” She ran her fingers through her hair. “Stop being so melodramatic. It will be fine.” Speaking the words aloud helped, if only a little.

The door opened and a tall man entered the room. His head was shaved smooth, and he wore an obviously ex-pensive golf shirt and khaki pants on his wiry frame. Every step he took exuded a quiet confidence that most people would envy. “Hello. I’m Jim Waters, one of the producers.” He smiled in a relaxed, friendly way, and soon they were making small talk.

Julie was thankful that he’d decided to warm up without cameras or other people in the room. It did help relax her quite a bit. By the time they were ready to get down to business, perhaps she would be able to think straight.

“What do you hope to gain from your time on the farm?” he asked, shifting the conversation a bit. It was a question Julie had been asking herself all throughout the prior days.

“I’m here to help Susan. So I’m just hoping to avoid messing things up for her.” She tried to smile but was too nervous to completely pull it off.

“I know you’re here because of her. But surely, there must be something you are hoping to get from this experi-ence?”

Julie thought for a moment. What did she hope to gain?

What she most hoped was to find a reason to believe that something about her life was worthwhile—or more correctly, a reason that she might want to return home when it was over. Perhaps there’s more truth than neces-sary in that answer. “I’m mostly looking forward to slowing down and enjoying my kids. Our lives are so fast-paced that we often do little more than pass each other on the way in or out.”

He nodded. “My wife says the same thing about our fam-ily. Especially with kids in sports.”

“Exactly.” Julie could feel the tension melting from her body. She was so thankful to have a producer who at least understood what she was saying.

“What do you most hope your sister-in-law will gain from this experience?”

“I’m hoping it will help launch her career to the next lev-el. It means so much to her, and she really does deserve it.”

“That’s what we’re all hoping.” He smiled and nodded as he leaned forward on his elbows. “But I mean, other than that, what do you hope she learns from the experience?”

Julie thought about that one for a moment, then decided to stick with the safest, and most obvious, answer. “Well . . . I guess I’m hoping that she learns to relax a little.”

“Type A, huh?”

“Definitely.” Julie thought about the last couple of years. “Honestly, I don’t know how she does all that she does. She’s pretty amazing.”

“Why is it I feel like there’s a ‘but’ to that statement?” He grinned in a conspiratorial manner.

“She can be a bit uptight.” Julie supposed there was no reason to deny the obvious. “She pushes her daughter pretty hard, too.”

Jim laughed. “Gotcha. My sister is just like that.” He started a story about her that sounded exactly like Susan when the door opened. Julie looked up, expecting to see a film crew. Instead, she saw Susan and another woman. Thank goodness! They had decided to let them do this to-gether, after all.

Jim offered his hand across the table. “It was really nice talking with you, Julie.”

“You too.” She shook his hand.

“Okay, ladies, now that we’re all done, we’ll see if we can find out where your kids are and get you caught up with them.” Jim started toward the door.

“But our interviews. Aren’t you going to film them?” Su-san asked, taking the question right out of Julie’s mouth.

“Oh, they were filmed. There are several cameras in the conference rooms back here. Don’t worry, we got it all.”

Julie held her breath. She would never have been quite as free with her stories or frank with her answers if she’d had any idea she was being filmed. She looked toward Su-san, wondering if she should apologize in advance or just hope that they cut a lot of what she’d said.

Then she saw Susan’s face. Her expression of horror left little doubt that apologies might be needed from both di-rections. Julie didn’t think she wanted to know what had been said in the other room. In fact, she was certain of it. view abbreviated excerpt only...

Discussion Questions

1. Amish life is much more difficult than modern life in so many ways. Why do you think many modern women envy this lifestyle?
2. Name three things about modern life you would be more than happy to give up. Name three that you couldn't do without.
3. Were your parents more like Julie, who trusts her kids to find their own way, or Susan, who believes that kids need to be pushed to achieve their potential? Which kind of parent are you (or which kind do you think you will be)?
4. There is a fine line between pushing yourself (and your kids) too hard, and being lax. How do you try to differentiate between the two?
5. Susan had always envisioned herself as the quintessential wife and mother. When her marriage fell apart, a large part of her self-esteem began to erode. From which of your strengths do you derive the most self-worth? What would happen if that suddenly fell apart?
6. Do you consider yourself more of a Susan, type A, in control person, or a Julie, type B, pushed around by the type A's person?
7. Can you think of a God-given gift or talent that you possess but have been too busy to use?

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