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All That We Carried: A Novel
by Erin Bartels

Published: 2021-01-05T00:0
Paperback : 368 pages
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The most treacherous terrain is found within

Ten years ago, sisters Olivia and Melanie Greene were on a hiking trip when their parents were in a fatal car accident. They haven't seen each other since the funeral. Olivia coped with the loss by plunging herself into law school, work, and ...

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Introduction

The most treacherous terrain is found within

Ten years ago, sisters Olivia and Melanie Greene were on a hiking trip when their parents were in a fatal car accident. They haven't seen each other since the funeral. Olivia coped with the loss by plunging herself into law school, work, and a materialist view of the world--what you see is what you get, and that's all you get. Melanie dropped out of college and developed an online life coaching business around her DIY spirituality--a little of this, a little of that, whatever makes you happy.

Now, at Melanie's insistence (and against Olivia's better judgment), they are embarking on a hike in the Porcupine Mountains of Michigan's Upper Peninsula. In this remote wilderness they'll face their deepest fears, question their most dearly held beliefs, and begin to see that perhaps the best way to move forward is the one way they had never considered.

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Excerpt

MIDWESTERNERS DO DUMB THINGS on the one nice day in March. The thought that winter might indeed have an end makes them giddy, unpredictable, and more than a little

bit stupid. They wear shorts, make big plans, believe that this—finally—will be the year they get in shape or go to Paris or write their screenplay. And much like you wouldn’t hold a friend to a

promise they made while emerging from the effects of anesthesia after surgery, Olivia Greene felt that her sister had no right to hold her to the promise she’d made on that unseasonably warm

day seven months ago.

Melanie had called at lunchtime when Olivia would not be in court and would therefore have no excuse for letting the call go to voicemail as she normally would. The sun had just broken

through the rushing clouds, lighting the towering smokestacks of the power station south of downtown like columns of a Greek temple. Mists lifted from the low places along the road that

were still cradling crusted snow. And at that moment, after an unsatisfying lunch at a mediocre restaurant with two colleagues she didn’t much care for, Olivia had felt just restless enough to

agree to a weeklong backpacking trip with the younger sister she hadn’t seen in a decade.

That Melanie chose a hike, she couldn’t quite understand. Hiking had long been ruined for her.

Now as she pulled off the highway and into the gas station lot where they had agreed to meet in Indian River, Olivia wished that day had been as miserable as the rest of March always was. If it

had been sleeting, she never would have agreed to this nonsense.

She didn’t know what kind of car her sister drove, but she didn’t bother looking for her either. Melanie wouldn’t be there yet, despite living only a half hour away. Instead, Olivia got out

of the car, rubbed her hip, which was sore from the long spate of sitting, and went into the gas station. The sprawling shop had the normal gas station fare—pop, beer, candy, salty snacks—but

it also sold accoutrements for three distinct, though at times overlapping, markets: veterans, hunters, and those passionate about right-wing politics.

She made haste to the bathroom, sure that everyone she passed knew she was out of her element. She’d done her hair that morning and put on makeup because that’s what she did every morning, and while she was dressed in jeans and a hooded sweatshirt, she suspected they were brands you could not get at any store Up North. She washed her hands and wondered if she should buy a camo baseball cap to fit in. Of course, where she was going it wouldn’t matter. She wouldn’t be seeing many people, and of those she did see, she guessed that at least half would be young professionals like her, dabbling a bit in nature, thinking that a walk in the woods would solve their problems.

Olivia knew better. Problems like hers couldn’t be solved. She snagged an iced tea out of the cooler and passed a rotating case of hunting knives on her way to the counter. A knife. She’d forgotten to buy a knife at the sporting goods store at the mall when she was stocking up on gear for the trip. She didn’t know exactly what she might need one for. She only knew that if she didn’t have one, a need would present itself. She looked over the knives on offer, eliminating those with Confederate

flags, divisions of the Armed Forces, or nationalist sentiments on the handle, until all that was left to choose from were animals. Whitetail deer, black bear, turkey, wolf, fish. A fish would do.

“Excuse me,” she said to the woman behind the counter, “could I get the knife that says brook trout?”

The woman opened the case and extracted the knife Olivia pointed out. “You should get the one with the salmon,” she said. “Salmon run’s started.”

“I guess you want the one with the state fish,” the woman said, then she narrowed her eyes. “Where are you from?”

“East Lansing.”

She nodded. “Heading to the cottage one last time for the year?”

“Hiking.”

The woman looked her up and down and sort of shrugged, as if to say that the fact some suburban girl in designer jeans was going hiking wasn’t her business, but she wouldn’t be surprised

when the front page of next Sunday’s paper sported a headline about a dead hiker. Natural selection and all.

“Around here? Or are you headed to the Upper Peninsula?”

“The UP, yes,” Olivia said. She wished the woman would just ring up the knife and be done with it. A line was beginning to form behind her, though the clerk didn’t seem to notice.

“Pictured Rocks?” the woman said.

Olivia winced. “No.” She lowered her voice. She didn’t really want to announce to a bunch of strange, burly men what remote place with no cell service she was headed for. “My sister and I

are hiking the Porcupine Mountains.”

“Hoo! The Porkies!” she all but shouted. “I hope you’re ready for that.” Then she gave Olivia a look that told her she was clearly not ready for that.

“We know what we’re doing,” Olivia said more tersely than she meant to. “We’ve hiked before.”

The woman shook her head and finally rang her up. Olivia snatched up her things and headed for the exit.

“Watch out for bears!” the woman yelled.

Back at the car, she tucked the knife into a small compartment in her pack and looked at her smartwatch. 12:18. Melanie had not called or texted. She pulled both packs out and leaned

them against the car, carefully so as not to scratch the finish. Though the trip had been Melanie’s idea, Olivia had thought it best if she did the planning and the packing. It took her much

of the summer, fitting it here and there into the cracks in her frenetic schedule. Mel’s pack was lighter for the moment but would weigh more once she added her clothes and food, both

of which Olivia would inspect before they set off, to ensure that Melanie had adhered to the list she’d sent her back in July. She was about to lock the car when she spied the corner of something

beneath the seat. She pulled it the rest of the way out.

The map. She had almost left the map behind.

Sure, they would have trail maps at the welcome center, but not like this one. Olivia had ordered it months ago. It was waterproof and tear-resistant, and she’d augmented it with additional

details, clearly marking the trails they were going to take in pen. She’d emailed a scan of the map to her boss because she’d read that you should always make it known to others where you plan

to hike and when you plan to return, so that if for some reason you didn’t return, people would know where to look for you.

Her stomach churned at the almost oversight, and she had to sit down. Maybe the woman behind the counter was right to be skeptical. view abbreviated excerpt only...

Discussion Questions

1. Olivia and Melanie behave like a lot of sisters: they know how to push each other’s buttons but they also show how deeply they love each other despite the grudges they hold. Do you have a sibling or close friend like that? What are the ways you have hurt each other? How have you lifted each other up?

2. Olivia and Melanie tried to ignore the hurt the other caused them for years. How do you think their lives might be different if they had simply talked through their problems rather than running away from them? Have you ever tried to pretend a disagreement with a loved one didn’t exist so you could avoid confrontation? What was the result? Can you think of a better way to handle something like that in the future?

3. Olivia and Melanie are on a path toward forgiving each other and forgiving themselves. Forgiving other people for the ways they have hurt you, whether deliberate or accidental, is difficult. Do you find it easier to forgive strangers or casual acquaintances than to forgive close friends or family members? Why? And what about forgiving yourself? Is that easier or harder than forgiving others? Why do you think that is?

4. The sisters run into Josh, a fisherman and avid hiker, who helps to set them on the right path in more ways than one. Do you think meeting him so far off the trail was an accident? Fate? Divine intervention? Where do you see the workings of divine design or a plan in your life? Do you believe in such things? Or do you believe more in the power of coincidence and chance?

5. Throughout the book, the sisters confront their beliefs about how the universe works, the afterlife, whether there is a God and, if there is, what kind of God there is. What are your beliefs about spiritual things? Why do you think you have the particular beliefs you do? Have you ever spent time and effort considering other viewpoints and belief systems? If so, did that strengthen your beliefs or cause you to doubt them?

6. This story unfolds in a wilderness, a place of great beauty where dangers abound. Though Olivia takes many precautions, the sisters still run into trouble. Are you someone who is generally prepared for any possible scenario? Or do difficulties often take you by surprise? When have you felt lost in the wilderness? Who did you rely on to help you find your way out?

Notes From the Author to the Bookclub

No notes at this time.

Book Club Recommendations

Member Reviews

Overall rating:
 
 
by Charlene J. (see profile) 04/27/21

 
  "A hike that will transform two sisters."by liz p. (see profile) 01/29/21

Ten years ago, while on a hiking trip Melanie and Olivia, sisters, receive news that their parents have been killed in a car accident. The driver of the other car was a longtime friend of th... (read more)

 
  "Not for me"by Elizabeth P. (see profile) 01/07/21

Two sisters that have been estranged since the death of their parents go on a hiking trip to reconnect.

It may not have been the best idea. It was a pretty stressful trip, and both siste

... (read more)

 
by ELIZABETH V. (see profile) 01/07/21

I predict that ALL THAT WE CARRIED will be one of the winners of the Michigan Notable Books award in 2022. This book not only tells the story of two sisters on a hiking trip in the wildernes... (read more)

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