Introduction

Appealing to readers of Delia Owens’ Where the Crawdads Sing, Kristin Hannah’s Firefly Lane, and Ann Packer’s The Dive from Clausen’s Pier, Belonging is a heartbreaking and hopeful coming-of-age story that traverses lifelong friendship, first love, and a young woman’s fierce desire to transcend her traumatic childhood. 

Jenny is thirteen when an epic dust storm rolls into her central California town in December 1977. Bedridden after contracting a life-threatening illness in the storm and suffering a shocking loss, Jenny realizes she will never be cared for by the mother who both neglects and terrifies her or the father who allows it. She relies on her cousin, Heather, who has the loving home Jenny longs for; her beloved great-uncle, Gino, the last link between generations; her best friend, Henry, a free spirit with whom she shares an inexplicable bond; and earnest baseball star, Billy, who becomes her first love. After a stunning turn of events in both their lives, Jenny and Henry leave for college in LA together in the summer of 1982—Jenny fleeing a broken heart, and Henry running from something he can’t reveal, even to his best friend. When she returns home years later, the life Jenny so carefully created collides with the one she left behind. 

Spanning three decades, Belonging is about first love and heartbreak, friendship and secrets, family and forgiveness, hometowns and coming of age, and memory and music. The heart of the story is Jenny’s struggle to undo the binds of a childhood that have deeply affected her life, the painful path to love endured by children raised in alcoholic families, and the grim reality of believing you must hide a part of yourself in order to belong. 

ADVANCE PRAISE FOR BELONGING 

“Fordyce captures the complexities of both love and forgiveness as well as the painful ways the events of the past can't help but color our present-day lives. Belonging is a wise, uplifting, and deeply compassionate novel with characters so vivid they feel like part of your own family.” -Stacey Swann, author of Olympus, Texas "Belonging is a moving and original story of a girl coming of age and learning who she is in a family wracked with tension, set against a California landscape from the seventies to the present, chronicling the history of that time and place as much as its indelible characters. Jill Fordyce is a sensitive and beautiful writer and a novelist to watch.”-Malena Watrous, author of If You Follow Me 

“Belonging is a beautifully rendered, intimate story tracing the life of one of the most lovable, real protagonists you'll ever meet, the vivid characters who populate her world, and the connections -- and, ultimately, forgiveness -- between them. Readers will be transfixed and absorbed by Jenny's journey from a devastating childhood illness and loss, her coming of age in a gorgeously depicted backdrop of Bakersfield, CA, and the eventual move away from home that brings her closer to her past than ever. A significant accomplishment.” -Liza Monroy, author of Seeing as Your Shoes Are Soon to Be On Fire

Editorial Review

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Excerpt

Chapter One

DECEMBER 1977

On the morning of December 20, 1977, a wall of dirt pushed by a warm wind began to barrel through the canyons surrounding California's southern San Joaquin Valley. When Jenny Hayes arrived at school, the Christmas decorations that hung outside the cafeteria swayed back and forth in a cold, light wind. But by late morning, the air turned oddly warm, the wind picked up, and a dust plume that rose to five thou-

sand feet began to blanket the town of Bakersfield.

Jenny was in a windowless bungalow on the outskirts of the schoolyard, listening to her eighth-grade photography teacher give an overview of the first semester.

“You have all the technical skills now,” Mr. Rosenfeld said. “When we come back from break, you are going to find your eye. How do you do that? You notice what you notice, trust what you notice, and photograph what you notice.”

As her wiry, bearded photography teacher spoke, Jenny realized that all she noticed the entire semester was the boy sitting two rows in front of her. Instead of paying attention to darkroom instructions, she stared at the back of Billy Ambler—his broad shoulders, the dark curls that touched the top of his perfect ears, the way he held his camera like he knew what he was doing.

“By June, you’ll have a catalog of your own photographs. For your

final, you’ll select the three that most reject your individual eye.”

As Mr. Rosenfeld turned to write on the chalkboard, tiny pellets of debris began pelting the sides of the bungalow. The wind began to howl and screech—a ghostly sound closing in on the classroom. After a loud crash that sounded like a metal trash can slamming into a building, he put down his chalk, shook his head, and said, “What is going on out there?” He walked to the door and opened it just enough to see that daylight had been replaced by a murky brown sky. A fierce wind was driving dirt and debris through the schoolyard. Mr. Rosenfeld pushed the door closed, turned to the class, and said, “We appear to be in the middle of a pretty big dust storm. We may have to stay put for a while.” He continued to try to talk over the sounds of both the storm and the increasingly anxious group of eighth graders. “Starting a$er break, you’ll be given class time to go out into the field and take pictures. And I don’t want anyone

wandering o% alone, so you’ll each pick a partner.”

Billy turned in his seat, looked at Jenny, pointed at her and then at himself, and whispered, “You and me?”

Jenny smiled, tucked her hair behind her ears, and nodded. She was hoping he'd be her partner. They’d met the year before, when they sat across from each other in the art class they took as a precursor to photography. She liked him right away. He was earnest and polite, asked questions, and took notes—a star athlete who spent hours on his art assignments. During the unit on drawing, she saw him in a composite like this: baseball cap, greenish eyes, long eyelashes, strong hands, open book. About a month ago, he began waiting for her at the end of photography, so that he could walk her to her next class. He’d lean against the wall outside her classroom until just before the bell rang, lingering long enough for her to wonder if he might be thinking of kissing her, or maybe

she was just thinking of kissing him.

“Before we leave today, I want to give you one final thought,” Mr. Ros- enfeld said. “What you choose to photograph and how you photograph it will tell people a lot about you. My wife complains that since I’m always the photographer at family parties, I’m never in any of the pictures, but I tell her, I’m in every single one.”

The lights flickered and the bungalow felt like it was listing to one side, unable to hold back the wind. The telephone rang in the classroom and Mr. Rosenfeld said, “Aha, saved at last.” When he hung up the phone, he turned to the class. “The principal says we have to evacuate the bungalows. Bus service is canceled because the buses are at risk of toppling over. It’s apparently a very violent dust storm. Your parents will be picking you up in the cafeteria as soon as they are able to get here. Okay, let’s line up and get out of here. Let’s do this orderly, people.”

Mr. Rosenfeld stood by the door and waited until the sound of the wind died down to open it. The class tumbled outside and huddled to- together. The first thing Jenny noticed was how warm it had become since the hour before when she had walked into photography class. The second thing she noticed was that the winter sun, masked by dirt, hung above the schoolyard like a dull orange and brown ball. Billy took his camera from his bag and snapped pictures of the dirty sky, the crooked bungalow, and the basketball court littered with tree branches. When he turned and pointed the camera at Jenny, she touched her hands to her face and heard the click of his shutter before she had a chance to look away. While Billy was putting his camera back in his bag, Mr. Rosenfeld told the class to move along. Jenny fell in with the line of students, pulled her sweatshirt over her mouth and nose, and wondered who would come to pick her up. In the crowded cafeteria, she found her cousin, Heather Moretti, who was a year younger than her and in seventh grade. They sat in a corner with their heads together—Jenny’s straight, dark brown hair mingled with Heather’s curly blonde. Heather turned to Jenny and said, “Every

time I breathe, I get dirt in my mouth.”

“Pull your sweater up over your nose,” Jenny said. “Do you see Henry anywhere?”

Heather shook her head and Jenny scanned the crowded cafeteria for her best friend, Henry Hansen. She had a chocolate cupcake with white marshmallow frosting and sprinkles in a box in the bottom of her backpack for him. She’d baked it the night before for his birthday. The homemade birthday cupcake was a tradition she started the day he turned ten on December 20, 1973; today he turned fourteen.

The parking lot was filling up with wood-paneled station wagons that came from the neighborhoods and tumbleweeds that had blown in from the adjacent highway. Teachers were taking turns going out to the line of cars in the parking lot and back inside to call out the names of those whose parents had arrived. It was chaotic and loud, the sound of the wind now overpowered by the noise of two hundred students stuffed into a cafeteria designed to hold one hundred.

When a teacher called out to Jenny and Heather together, Jenny felt relieved, knowing that Heather’s mom, her Aunt Hope, was there for them. As they walked toward the door, Jenny heard Henry’s laugh and turned to see him standing against the back wall of the cafeteria. She held onto Heather’s arm and said, “Hold on a sec, okay? I want to say goodbye to Henry.”

Jenny walked across the cafeteria and handed Henry the cupcake from her backpack. “Happy birthday.”

“I was wondering where you were.” Henry pushed his long auburn bangs to the side and looked down at her with his blue-green eyes. “Thanks for the cupcake.”

“You’re welcome. Extra sprinkles, just the way you like.” Jenny looked over her shoulder at Heather standing by the door. “I’m leaving with Heather now. Aunt Hope’s here. Who’s getting you?”

“My dad, I guess. He’s taking long enough. I might just walk home.” Jenny looked at the lightweight sweatshirt and jeans he wore over his tall, skinny frame, and said, “Don’t go out in the storm. I’m sure you can

come with us. I’ll go ask Aunt Hope.”

“I’ll be fine. Go on.” Henry moved his hand toward the door in a scooting motion. “Call me later.”

Jenny knew Henry well enough to know his mind was made up. She reluctantly left him standing there eating his cupcake, contemplating going out in the storm. She and Heather zipped their jackets over their heads and ran for the parking lot.

The pale green station wagon was warm and smelled like the flowery perfume her aunt, Hope Moretti, had been wearing for as long as Jenny could remember. Aunt Hope didn’t look like she’d been out in a dust storm. She looked like she always did: fresh-faced, shiny blonde hair, a headband that matched her skirt. It was a tense drive home, with tumbleweeds and dirt whipping by, and the wind pulling at the station wagon. The Christmas carols playing on the radio were interrupted by the startling dull buzz of the Emergency Broadcast System, and a monotone voice announced: nearly two hundred mile an hour winds, road closures,

five feet visibility, stay inside. Jenny listened and kept her eyes on Aunt Hope. Her careful driving and easy chatter calmed Jenny, and she felt like nothing bad could happen to her while Aunt Hope was in charge.

When they got home, Aunt Hope gathered Jenny and Heather close to her, and made a run for the front door. Jenny and Heather’s grandmother, Nonna, was waiting for them inside. Jenny was happy and relieved to see Nonna, her maternal grandmother, and the person she counted on the most. On the day of this epic dust storm, they needed to be together. Nonna was wearing a beige pantsuit with a silk scarf around her neck, and her dark hair had been set and coated with hairspray. As Jenny and Heather walked in the door, she wrapped her arms around them, held them against her plumpish chest, and said, “There’s my girls.” She kissed the top of their heads—Jenny’s brunette and Heather’s blonde. “Chocolate and vanilla.”

Jenny looked around the warm house. The Christmas tree was in the corner of the family room, its colorful lights creating a so$ glow. Stacks of gifts wrapped in brown craft paper and plaid ribbons sat beneath the tree. Handmade stockings for Aunt Hope, Uncle Joe, Heather, and their cat, Cherry, hung from the mantel. In the kitchen, the tiles were all different tones of yellows and oranges and stretched up the walls like the rays of the sun. Jenny noticed everything in Aunt Hope’s kitchen each time she was there—the light from the window, the smell of a homemade meal, the sounds of the teapot whistling and the dishwasher running. She was comforted by this loving home, filled with family and good food. It also made her feel a little sad, aware that it was something she lacked.

Aunt Hope served them hot tea and warm slices of banana bread. A small TV was tuned to the local news. Trees and fences down, power outages, swamp coolers blown off roofs, canals filled, cattle buried.

“This reminds me of the dust storm we had in 1926. The sky was dark mid-day, just like now, and they say the dust cloud rose to a mile high,” Nonna said, blowing on her tea.

“How old were you then?” Jenny asked.

Nonna looked to the ceiling and tapped her chin. “I was thirteen, exactly your age.”

“How old was Uncle Gino?” Heather asked.

Before Nonna could answer, Jenny said, “Where is Uncle Gino?” “He’s stuck downtown at the store. Power lines are down. I just talked

to him before you girls got home.”

“Is he okay? Is he alone?” Jenny asked.

“He told me he has a box of cookies and a pot of coffee, and we both know that’s all my little brother needs.” Nonna winked at Jenny. “Gino is ten years younger than me, so he was three years old during that 1926 storm.”

Jenny adored her great uncle, Gino Vitelli, Nonna’s youngest sibling. He’d given her a part-time job at his antique store, and during the days spent there together, he shared stories about her great-grandparents leaving Italy in 1902 and putting down roots in the middle of California. He told her what it was like growing up in the old yellow Victorian where he still lived today—the music and food and gathering, the trees that were planted, the flower and vegetable gardens he loved.

Aunt Hope turned toward Nonna with a wooden spoon in her hand. “Marion, want to help with the lasagna? It’s your mother’s recipe.”

Nonna took a drink of her tea and tied an apron around her waist. Although Aunt Hope was Nonna’s daughter-in-law—married to her son, Joe, and not even Italian—she took pride in learning Nonna’s recipes and carrying on all the Italian traditions. Aunt Hope was from a wealthy farming family that had been in Bakersfield since the late 1800s. She attended private schools and met Joe one summer when she was home from Vassar, and he was interning in the corporate office of her family’s farm. Today, Joe ran the whole operation, leaving before dawn each day to travel to fields outside of town, just like Aunt Hope’s father used to do.

Nonna stirred the tomatoes, onions, and garlic simmering in a pot on the stove and added a hearty dash of cinnamon. The scent of garlic and rosemary, with just a hint of sweetness, filled the house and felt like another layer of protection from the outside world, from the wildness of the storm.

Although the wind had died down by late afternoon, the sky re- remained so dark that the transition to evening went unnoticed. Just before dinnertime, Jenny’s dad appeared in the doorway. Jenny was helping Aunt Hope peel carrots for the salad, and when she saw her dad standing there, she hung her head and closed her eyes. Aunt Hope gave him a quick hug and said, “I’m making lasagna and garlic bread. Why don’t you stay, Bob? There’s plenty.”

“Well, you know, we’d love to, but Janice already made dinner for us.” He put a hand on Jenny’s head, “You girls been out of school all day?”

“Yeah, most of it.” Jenny put the carrot down and wiped her hands on a dishtowel.

“How about if I pack some up for you? I made enough for a small army, and it’s even better on day two.” Jenny felt relieved by Aunt Hope’s offering. She knew her mom didn’t make dinner. Now she’d have a warm meal tonight, and it would be the delicious lasagna she’d been smelling all afternoon.

But her dad said, “Thanks, Hope. Don’t go to any trouble. We have to get home now. Roads are closed everywhere, and it may take a while. Come on, Jenny. Get your things.”

As Aunt Hope and her father were talking, Jenny watched Nonna quietly cut off half a loaf of banana bread and stick it in the front pocket of her backpack. Jenny hugged Nonna and Aunt Hope goodbye, flicked Heather on the shoulder, and followed her father out to his car. The air was gritty and thick, and the front seat was coated with a layer of dirt. Tree branches, tumbleweeds, and garbage littered the streets. In the car, Jenny said, “You think Mom made dinner?”

Her father rubbed his hand over his mustache and said, “No. But she wouldn’t want your Aunt Hope to know that.”

“Why didn’t you let her pack us some lasagna? We won’t be able to get anything tonight. Everything’s closed because of the storm.”

“I don’t think your mama would want her handouts. We’ll figure something out.”

Jenny leaned her head against the dirty window and pulled her sweatshirt so far up over her nose, it covered more than half her face. She knew that “we’ll figure something out” meant she’d have to figure something out. She looked out at the familiar streets that now seemed like a ghost town. Everything was closed down, windows boarded, no cars in the parking lots. The only thing that had an open sign in the window was the Mexican restaurant with the bar that her mother sat in starting at about lunchtime most days. Her dad suggested that they stop there in case her mother was inside.

“I don’t want to go in.”

“Well, I don’t want to leave you out here alone, darlin’.”

Jenny pulled her sweatshirt down and said, “I’ll be fine.” She reached for the door locks. “I’ll lock the doors behind you.”

Jenny ran through a couple of scenarios while her dad went into the bar alone. In one, he carried her mother out, over his shoulder like a caveman, and laid her across the back seat, passed out and limp. In another, he dragged her mother by the elbow, while she kicked and spat at him, and when he tried to put her in the car, she would fight back. He would eventually win, but then she was in the car with them like a trapped animal, punching the seat and banging her leg against the car door. She’d seen both before. Before she could imagine the third scenario, the one where her mom was kissing all over her dad and calling him baby, she saw her dad come out of the bar with his arm around her mother’s waist.

Jenny unlocked the doors and got in the back, while her father helped her mother into the passenger seat. Her mother turned and looked at her and said, “Hey, you,” in a slurry, sweetie voice. She turned up the radio, put her bare feet up on the dash, and her hand in her father’s hair. When she leaned over and kissed his neck, lingering an uncomfortable length of time, Jenny realized it was scenario three. She wanted to jump out of the car, into the desolate and dusty street. She knew this was better than watching her mother kick at her father and slam her fists on the dash, but just barely.

When they arrived at their two-story Cape Cod-style house on Lupine Lane, Jenny noticed that a portion of the white picket fence that surrounded the small yard was down, and one of the black shutters was in the middle of the lawn. She got out of the car to retrieve it, stopping to touch the leaves on the lemon tree, and noticing that, instead of being waxy and green, they were dusty and gray. She picked up the shutter and placed it by the front door.

Her father called to her and said, “Can you come over here and give me a hand?”

Jenny walked back to the driveway and saw that her mother was passed out against the passenger side window, a rag doll with a mop of black hair, eyes closed and mouth open. She got in the front seat and held onto her mother’s arm so that she wouldn’t fall out of the car when her father opened the door. This task repulsed her, but she’d done it often, so she just held her breath while her father lifted her mother from the car and stood her up in the driveway. Jenny grabbed her mother’s purse and shoes and watched as her mother opened her eyes, looked at her father, and said, “Hi, baby.”

Her father said, “Let’s get you up to bed.”

Her mother stood up straight and flung an arm at him, the back of her hand smacking the side of his head. “Stop touching me”

Her father reached for his keys and started for the house, leaving Jenny alone in the dark driveway with her mother. Jenny was unsurprised by his stoic departure. Whether her mother was kissing his neck in the car or taking a swing at him in the driveway, he remained impassive. She didn’t know if it was a conscious strategy he employed to keep things from escalating, or if he was just paralyzed, knowing the crushing level of cruelty of which her mother was capable.

Her mother said, “Where are my shoes?”

Jenny held them up. “I have them. I’ll put them away for you.” “Put them on my feet I’m not walking into the house barefoot”

Jenny hesitated for only a second or two, thinking of the darkness and the dirt.

“Don’t just stand there. Put my fucking shoes on”

As Jenny knelt and complied, the familiar shame she felt from being literally at the feet of this woman flooded her. She was so good at it, though. She merely bent, slid a shoe on each foot, said nothing. She held her breath again as she walked her mother up the stairs and into her bedroom. Having her mother touch her, listening to her heavy breathing, smelling her wine breath, made Jenny feel physically ill.

She went back downstairs and found her father sitting in front of the dim light of the TV in the family room, a visible redness on the side of his face. There was a barren Christmas tree in the corner and a box of ornaments on the floor. On the coffee table, there were piles of unopened mail, piles of gossip magazines, baskets filled with piles of miscellaneous things that no one would put away. Jenny had tried to undo the piles many times, but they always came back.

“Should I try to find something for dinner?”

Her father looked up at her, nodded, and said, “Sure.”

The kitchen had been fashionable a decade before, but now, it just looked neglected, like everything else in the house. The garbage can was overflowing with empty wine bottles and fast-food wrappers. The refrigerator held only a small carton of milk, a six-pack of Coke, a cube of butter, and two large bottles of white wine. She opened the vegetable drawer, hoping there was a potato she’d forgotten about, but found only a small bunch of carrots.

Jenny’s dad was a produce broker, and once a week, he would bring home fresh vegetables or fruits he would pick up from different farmers. Jenny never knew what he’d bring home, but it was food, so she was determined to learn how to cook it. She found an old copy of The New Doubleday Cookbook in Uncle Gino’s store and discovered there was a simple recipe for everything, and there was an hourglass symbol next to recipes that were quick and easy to prepare. The first carrot recipe with an hourglass next to it was called “Boiled Carrots,” so she put a pot of water on the stove and began to peel again.

She found two foil TV dinners in the freezer, filled the teapot with water, and took out the small red jar of Taster’s Choice. When the teapot whistled, she fixed her dad his instant coffee the way he liked it, with a lot of milk and a little sugar. She removed the TV dinners from the oven, dished them onto plates, and took the boiled carrots from the stove. She put a generous slice of butter on top of the carrots and brought her father his dinner and coffee in the family room. Pushing aside a pile on the low coffee table in front of the TV, Jenny put her dad’s plate down, and said, “Are you okay?”

Jenny’s dad nodded, stubbed out his cigarette, and took a drink of his coffee. “Good coffee. Thanks, baby.” He pointed to the news. “They say the storm moved around twenty-five million tons of grazing land. And the sun was blocked as far north as Colusa County.”

In the same way she was unsurprised by his departure from the driveway, she was unsurprised by his response—or lack thereof—to her question. They never talked about any of it—her mother’s drinking and mood swings, negligence and violence—and tonight would be no differ- ent. Saying Are you okay? was as much of an acknowledgement as either of them would ever offer.

Jenny looked at the image of a giant plume of dust that flashed on the TV screen and thought that it looked like a dirty tidal wave. The newscaster noted that there was other news to report on a day that had been dominated by the weather: President Carter and the First Lady hosted a Christmas celebration at the White House, a Soviet astronaut walked in space, Vietnam agreed to release three young Americans seized o% the Vietnamese coast. Jenny patted down a patch of her father’s dark brown hair. Sometimes she teased him that he looked a little like a clown, the way the sides stuck out when he hadn’t had a haircut in a while.

“Time for a haircut?”

Jenny let her hand rest on the top of his head. “I think so.”

She took her dinner and went upstairs. At the top of the stairwell, her parents’ room was to the left, and her bedroom was to the right, a mere twenty or so feet down a narrow hallway. Jenny’s bedroom was a bright space she’d decorated herself the summer she turned ten. She’d painted it the color of a tangerine, inspired by Aunt Hope’s kitchen, and by a book she read that said that the color’s resemblance to the sun would make the room feel warm and happy. A cork bulletin board held a photo of her and Henry in a booth at the fair, a newspaper clipping of nuns at a death penalty protest, a homemade kite she and her dad made for a science project, and several prayer cards that all depicted the Virgin Mary.

Jenny turned on KUZZ, the local country radio station owned by Buck Owens. She usually played the radio from the time she woke up until she fell asleep at night, the music creating a buffer around her room. On winter mornings, she’d tune in early to hear if there was a fog delay,

which meant the school buses wouldn’t be running until about 10:00 a.m. when the fog had dissipated and it was safe to drive. None of the local stations were playing music tonight; they were still talking about the dust storm. Sand flying so fast that it sawed through fence posts and uprooted orchards of fruit trees. One hundred ninety-four mile per hour winds. She wiped off the layer of dust that had formed on her window seat and sat down to eat the boiled carrots and TV dinner. She looked out at the yard. The wind was gone, and now there was just the aftermath—strewn branches, toppled garbage cans, and a pile of tumbleweeds.

She took a bite of cold mashed potatoes and imagined eating lasagna and garlic bread in the happy kitchen at Heather’s house. Then she pushed the TV dinner aside and reached for the banana bread Nonna had put in her backpack. She was grateful Nonna understood about her mother, about the food. Nonna knew there would likely be nothing for dinner, but to pack the lasagna would’ve been an affront, the consequences of which were worse than hunger, and a secret stash of banana bread could

fill the void. She would not tolerate Jenny being unfed and uncared for, but she also knew enough to keep her assistance covert. She walked this line between tolerance and intrusion, which wasn’t always easy to see.

Before bed, Jenny picked up the phone and called Henry’s house. When he answered, she said, “You made it home. I’ve been waiting for you to call.”

“I told you not to worry. Are you home now?” “Yeah.”

“Is your mom up?” “No.”

“Well, that’s good. What’d you have for dinner?” “Banana bread. What’d you have?”

“The power was out so we had cold sandwiches and chips. And birthday cake. What are you doing tomorrow?”

“I’m not sure. Christmas shopping?” “We could go to a movie.”

“Maybe. What’s playing?” “Hold on, let me look.”

Jenny could hear Henry walking through his house: music, people, dishes, and the crackle of the newspaper as he unfolded it in his lap. “The Goodbye Girl is opening. Close Encounters is still playing. Why is Richard Dreyfuss in everything?”

“What else is there?” “Saturday Night Fever.” “We can’t get into that.”

Henry waited a beat, lowered his voice, and said, “We can buy a ticket for The Goodbye Girl and go into the wrong theater.”

Jenny thought it was just like Henry to suggest such a thing. In kindergarten, when they were assigned to a low table with tiny yellow chairs with two other kids whose last name began with “H,” there were many days that Henry wasn’t at the table. Instead, he sat on the tall chair in the corner, wearing the dunce cap for being too loud during circle time or refusing to sit still during sharing or getting up from his mat at naptime. Often, when Henry was sent to sit in the dunce chair during recess, Jenny would sit beside him, sentencing herself to the corner as well, her face burning with anger that he had to wear that hat. Henry didn’t seem to care, and Jenny fretted that he’d get in even more trouble by making faces behind the teacher’s back. When they were outside, Henry was wild and free, the most fun person on the playground. Jenny was shy and slow to make friends, but everyone loved Henry, and being with him out on the playground, she felt free and fun, just like him.

When they were in second grade, Henry’s mom came to school every Wednesday to collect book order forms with his baby brother, Christopher, on her hip. Sometimes, she’d bring Henry a lunch from McDonald’s, and when she did, she always brought one for Jenny too. They were best friends, unlikely but inseparable. In fourth grade, Jenny began walking home from school with Henry on Fridays for dinner and a movie with his family. She was enamored by their traditional nature: a dad who was an accountant and came home from work in a suit and tie with a briefcase; a mom who baked and volunteered at church and school; a sibling; dinner on the table; a nice, clean house on the golf course; everyone gathered around the TV with a bowl of popcorn on a Friday night.

When Henry’s parents separated during their fifth-grade year, Jenny didn’t understand it, and Henry wouldn’t talk about it. She was afraid his mother would move away and take Henry with her, and she couldn’t imagine a life without Henry. A few days after she heard the news, she sat on the front steps of his house and studied his wispy auburn hair, freckles across the bridge of his nose, eyes that were too pretty for a boy. She tried to smell him without him noticing. He smelled like cinnamon cookies and soap and Band-Aids. She listened to him laugh like a high-pitched squawking bird. Then, one by one, she put each of his features, his smell, and the sound of his laugh away inside of her, and turned an imaginary lock. As it turned out, Henry’s mother moved to a condo nearby, got a clerical job at one of the oil companies, and soon remarried. His father stayed in the house on the golf course and began working from home in the afternoons so that he’d be there for Henry and Christopher. When he took up baking, it made Jenny feel tender toward him, because she could see how much he wanted things to stay the same for his sons after the divorce, even if all he could do was have a plate of cookies on the kitchen table when they came home from school.

Jenny wasn’t sure if she’d have the guts to follow Henry into Saturday Night Fever or if she even wanted to, but they planned to meet up at two o’clock the next day at Stockdale 6, the six-theater movie complex that had been a fixture in their lives since it opened four summers before. She told Henry she’d think about it. When she hung up the phone, she turned up the radio. KUZZ was playing music again. As Dolly Parton’s sweet voice filled her room, Jenny thought about how much the refrain of “Light of a Clear Blue Morning” sounded like a prayer. She looked out the window and watched a tumbleweed roll across the yard, joining a small mountain of tumbleweeds pushed up against the cinder block fence. She took her camera from her backpack and climbed out onto her rooftop, a "at rectangular space, covered with a layer of black tar and green gravel. She could still smell the dust, even taste it in her mouth. She aimed her camera straight up at the yellowish-brown moon and pressed the shutter. In bed that night, she thought about sitting on her knees in the dirty driveway, placing shoes on her mother’s feet. She thought about how her father turned and walked away, leaving her alone when he couldn’t take it anymore, but somehow believed she could. Then two dark images appeared in her mind. She wasn’t even sure where they came from: cattle buried up to their necks in dirt, unable to move, and fruit trees standing upside down, their roots exposed to the elements. view abbreviated excerpt only...

Discussion Questions

From the author:

Henry and Billy are the two most important people in Jenny’s life, but they are so different. What is it about each of them that appeals to her?

When Bakersfield experiences the epic dust storm and Jenny comes down with valley fever, how does this experience change her life?

How does the town of Bakersfield, its music and immigrant history become part of this story?

The theme of belonging to a place, a family and friends are part of this story. As a reader do you have a similar or different story?

Nonna and Uncle Gino take care of Jenny as she is growing up. What does she learn from them?

The parents of Billy, Jenny, and Henry play an important role in this story. Do their families influence the choices they make?

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