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Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads : Dealing with the Parents, Teachers, Coaches, and Counselors Who Can Make--or Break--Your Child's Future
by Rosalind Wiseman, Elizabeth Rapoport

Published: 2006-03-07
Hardcover : 352 pages
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What happens to Queen Bees and Wannabes when they grow up?

Even the most well-adjusted moms and dads can experience peer pressure and conflicts with other adults that make them act like they’re back in seventh grade. In Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads, Rosalind Wiseman gives us the tools ...
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Introduction

What happens to Queen Bees and Wannabes when they grow up?

Even the most well-adjusted moms and dads can experience peer pressure and conflicts with other adults that make them act like they’re back in seventh grade. In Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads, Rosalind Wiseman gives us the tools to handle difficult situations involving teachers and other parents with grace. Reassuring, funny, and unfailingly honest, Wiseman reveals:

• Why PTA meetings and Back-to-School nights tap into parents’ deepest insecurities

• How to recognize the archetypal moms and dads—from Caveman Dad to Hovercraft Mom

• How and when to step in and step out of your child’s conflicts with other children, parents, teachers, or coaches

• How to interpret the code phrases other parents use to avoid (or provoke) confrontation

• Why too many well-meaning dads sit on the sidelines, and how vital it is that they step up to the plate

• What to do and say when the playing field becomes an arena for people to bully and dominate other kids and adults

• How to have respectful yet honest conversations with other parents about sex and drugs when your values are in conflict

• How the way you handle parties, risky behavior, and academic performance affects your child

• How unspoken assumptions about race, religion, and other hot-button subjects sabotage parents’ ability to work together

Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads is filled with the kind of true stories that made Wiseman’s New York Times bestselling book Queen Bees & Wannabes impossible to put down. There are tales of hardworking parents with whom any of us can identify, along with tales of outrageously bad parents—the kind we all have to reckon with. For instance, what do you do when parents donate a large sum of money to a school and their child is promptly transferred into the honors program–while your son with better grades doesn’t make the cut? What about the mother who helps her daughter compose poison-pen e-mails to yours? And what do you say to the parent-coach who screams at your child when the team is losing? Wiseman offers practical advice on avoiding the most common parenting “land mines” and useful scripts to help you navigate difficult but necessary conversations.

Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads is essential reading for parents today. It offers us the tools to become wiser, more relaxed parents–and the inspiration to speak out, act according to our values, show humility, and set the kind of example that will make a real difference in our children’s lives.


Also available as a Random House AudioBook and as an eBook

Editorial Review

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Excerpt

Perfect Parent World, Land of Perpetual Judgment

"You couldn't pay me enough to go back to seventh grade."

People love to tell me this. Teachers, parents, counselors, principals, people on the street, people at parties--everywhere I go, people tell me that they shudder at the thought of waking up one day transported back to seventh grade. But when I tell them I'm writing a book on parents' social competition, their eyes grow wide with delight or dismay--and always with recognition. "Do I have a story for you," they say conspiratorially. Clearly, few of us have left seventh grade completely behind. ... view entire excerpt...

Discussion Questions

Discussion Questions from Rosalind Wiseman:

How do your own experiences as a child and teen impact your parenting now? How do these experiences impact your interaction with other children—especially if they are mean to your child?

In your experience what types of moms and dads from the book have you encountered that you struggle with the most? How do you usually react to them?

What are your feelings about Perfect Parent World? Do you think it impacts your community? Do you know of times when it has influenced your behavior?

Have you had a "fern moment"? Did you ever convince yourself to come out and talk to the person?

How relevant was Chapter 4, the filters chapter to you? What was your reaction to it? Which part could you relate to the most?

Why can parents be so reluctant to apologize for their child's behavior?

Can you think of times when you have denied your own child's wrongdoing? Why was it so hard to admit?

How do parents involvement in school help or hurt the school and their own child's experience in school?

Have you ever coached your child's team? What were the things you liked about it and what were the things you found challenging?

What stops a parent from confronting another parent when they are angry or upset about something another child has done?

What "Check Your Baggage" section did you relate to the most?

What part of the book did you agree with the most?

What part of the book did you disagree with the most?

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