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Falling Under

by Danielle Younge-Ullman

Published: 2008-07-29
Paperback : 356 pages

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Introduction

Mara Foster is a brilliant painter, but for the past few years she’s been producing work that is anything but brilliant. Her personal life is lacking, too. She lives by herself, doesn’t date, and avoids her parents, and her social life consists mainly of eating takeout with her best friend, Bernadette. But Mara likes her life this way. It’s predictable, and it’s safe. Until one night she meets Hugo, a friendly, handsome man who makes Mara begin to reconsider the direction of her life. Scarred by her parents’ divorce, her father’s alcoholism and depression, her mother’s insatiable ambition and negligible nurturing, and two cursed and turbulent romances in her early youth, everything in Mara wants to run away from Hugo and his open, disarming nature. For years, Mara has striven to be the opposite of open and disarmed. She is an expert in defensiveness and self-protection. And yet, she is drawn to Hugo and cannot dispute that he makes her want to see and live in the world differently. Mara’s painful past, guarded present and uncertain future begin to overlap in the weeks that follow her first meeting with Hugo, affecting every corner of her life: her painting, her relationship with her mysterious patron, Sal, her friendship with Bernadette, and even her volatile regard for her relationship with her mother and father. Ultimately, Mara knows that with or without Hugo, she must finally face the truth surrounding the darkest parts of her youth, and see what, if anything, she can salvage and repair as she faces a drastically different future.

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Excerpt

Chapter One

Ask Santa for a new bike, and you might get it.

But Daddy might leave on Christmas Day.

When you reach out to touch your shiny new bike, Mommy might start yelling at Daddy about how dare he spend their money on a new bike and how you're only five and what do you need a new bike for anyway? ...

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Discussion Questions

Mara Foster is a brilliant painter, but for the past few years she’s been producing work that is anything but brilliant. Her personal life is lacking, too. She lives by herself, doesn’t date, and avoids her parents, and her social life consists mainly of eating takeout with her best friend, Bernadette. But Mara likes her life this way. It’s predictable, and it’s safe.
Until one night she meets Hugo, a friendly, handsome man who makes Mara begin to reconsider the direction of her life. Scarred by her parents’ divorce, her father’s alcoholism and depression, her mother’s insatiable ambition and negligible nurturing, and two cursed and turbulent romances in her early youth, everything in Mara wants to run away from Hugo and his open, disarming nature. For years, Mara has striven to be the opposite of open and disarmed. She is an expert in defensiveness and self-protection. And yet, she is drawn to Hugo and cannot dispute that he makes her want to see and live in the world differently.
Mara’s painful past, guarded present and uncertain future begin to overlap in the weeks that follow her first meeting with Hugo, affecting every corner of her life: her painting, her relationship with her mysterious patron, Sal, her friendship with Bernadette, and even her volatile regard for her relationship with her mother and father. Ultimately, Mara knows that with or without Hugo, she must finally face the truth surrounding the darkest parts of her youth, and see what, if anything, she can salvage and repair as she faces a drastically different future.

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Notes From the Author to the Bookclub

I came to a point in my twenties when I realized that the level of anxiety I lived with was not quite "normal." I was outgoing and appeared well-adjusted, but underneath I was a mess. In my case, much of this went back to my parent's divorce, but these issues can result from any trauma, especially those that occur during childhood when we are so vulnerable and our world-view is first developing, and that is what I was interested in exploring.

For Falling Under, I imagined a protagonist a million times more messed up than I ever was--someone who is paralyzed by her fears. I had a vision of her, young, vibrant and talented, but stuck in her house; haunted by the past and afraid of the future. And then I thought, what happens when someone like this falls in love? It is difficult to have faith--in oneself, other people or the world--when from an early age you have proof that everything and everyone you count on can fall apart. For someone with this reality, love is terrifying. Love is, potentially, a disaster. Unless of course, this person, under all her fears, is passionate, stubborn, fiercely determined and stronger than she realizes because of everything she's been through. I built the story on these two opposing sets of issues but simply, her fear and lack of faith, versus her hope, determination and strength.

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Member Reviews

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"This book was extremely depressing; a few lighter moments but very few"by Carol K. (see profile) 11/19/08

This book is very sad and if you don't want to be depressed, don't read it. The ending was interesting, but I would not recommend this book to anyone.

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