The author has a writing style that stimulates great visuals; for instance, I can see the three children and their neighbor on the beach; I can visualize their school, their small-town neighborhood, the footprint on the ceiling . . . the story was not uplifting; there is no happy ending and the lesson learned could be a response to the question the parents have "where did I go wrong" or "how could I have missed all of these signs" . . . heartbreaking.

Everything was a downer, no bright spots. This will not put anyone in a happy mood at a book club.

I was intrigued by the characters either struggling to fit in or struggling to stand out.

We were mixed on whether or not we liked the story, about ½ did, ½ didn’t, but agreed it was well written and thought provoking. The word most of us used to describe it was “sad” but this family’s inability to communicate their feelings to each other brought up some interesting discussion about our own families secrets and openness. All agreed that the mother’s leaving at a critical point in the story to pursue her dream of becoming a doctor had been devastating to everyone in the family and had set the stage for what came later, as the author peeled away the layers of each family member’s reaction to her desertion and return. We did not come to a cohesive decision on whether the daughter committed suicide or thought that she could actually swim to the dock on her own and failed

A couple of our members really enjoyed this one; these were 'older set' who actually lived the 70s and enjoyed some of the flashbacks. Most of our members thought the book was average at best, and one couldn't even bring herself to read farther than a few chapters. The subject matter, the death of a child and suicide' were too depressing for her. With the right group this could be an interesting discussion, but for our group, there are better choices out there.

Everything I Never Told You perhaps should have been named "Everything You Never Thought to Ask or Notice". This was a beautifully written story about what I perceived as a deeply dysfunctional family. It broke my heart on so many levels because I fear it speaks to a great many American households these days. I never thought I would be one to say the dreaded phrase "in my days" but unfortunately in my days when we raised our kids, the dinner table was a place to share our lives and thoughts with one another. We recognized the importance of knowing what was going on with our children and hopefully helped them feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and fears. As a part of the duo "husband and wife", and 40+ years together, you learn that the key to a healthy relationship is not being afraid to share feelings - even if they may not be what the other half wants to hear. This story brought to light the importance of communication in a family, the need we each have to feel loved, important and accepted for who we are and not who someone wants us to be. This should be a must read for all parents to learn to "use your words" and not assume anything. It should be a wake up call for all parents that you can't relieve your life through your children. If somehow you missed the boat and your life took a different direction than planned, well now is a good time to pull up your big girl panties and make the best of the hand you have been dealt. In all honesty this was not a feel good book for me, but was an very realistic and honest look at everyone's human side that screams out a need to be heard and accepted.

Beautifully written character study, , but there are a couple of unrealistic events that keep this from being outstanding from a plot standpoint.

This book immediately grabbed my interest. I followed the story intensely. Absolutely engrossing. Recommend it to other readers as well as to other book clubs.

This book inspired a lot of dialog between book group members. Mainly about how important honest communication is between family members.

Ms. Ng has spotlighted so many issues in this amazing story, but at the heart of it all is family dysfunctionality due to lack of communication. The husband doesn't talk to or confide in his wife. The wife doesn't talk to or confide in her husband. The parents don't talk to their children and the children have learned, by example, not to talk to their parents. Needless to say, this results in tragedy and chaos for the family as a whole. I thought this was a hauntingly beautiful story of being a family, being an outsider, living up to other's people's goals and more. Be warned, this is probably going to be a love it or hate it read for most groups, but there's tons to discuss.

Half of our group disliked the book, and everyone thought it was a very sad tale. The writing was beautiful, however, and it seemed to be so true to life, as everyone seemed to know or remember someone just like these characters in their lives.

Beautifully written book with complex characters that are fully developed and easy to become emotionally attached to. What I liked best was the author's ability to seamlessly move from one character's point of view to another's.

The descriptions Ng used were impeccable, I knew exactly what the scenes looked like and how each character was feeling. This book vividly portrays the importance of communication, or lack there of. There's a lot I took from reading this book. It was eye-opening because it helped me dissect my own family. I cannot recommend this book highly enough!

This was one of those books that keeps you reading (or listening) because it moves fluidly between the present, the distant past, and the more current past. Ng presents the reader with characters that are complex enough to be interesting, yet familiar enough to relate to in some way. She also describes the subtle and blatant discrimination that the Chinese American characters faced in their lives without overdone drama so that it feels authentic. The reader does not feel as if they are being given a speech on race relations in mid- twentieth century America. Instead one feels as if she is putting together a puzzle in which a key element is this discrimination. I recommend this title for those who enjoy a good tale that pulls you into a mystery with strong characters who have strong motivations for their actions... some that they don't even understand themselves until it is too late.

A little uncomfortable to read, but flows nicely and is insightful to compare parenting in the seventies to parenting today. Is it that different?

The book generated a lot of conversation about bias and multiethnic families as well as personal accounts of bias growing up.

Our book club did not find this book met the expectations of reviews. We felt there were many implausible plot devices. There are several mental health professionals in the group who felt that the family issues were the reason for the outcome rather than racial discrimination.

Characters poorly drawn and acted unconvincingly. Good writing at times but the story just wasn’t well crafted. Could forget this one and hope the author’s next effort is worth the time

Haunting, rivoting. I couldn't put it down....and when I did, I couldn't stop thinking about Lydia.

actually 3.5
So begins this exquisite novel about a Chinese American family living in 1970s small-town Ohio. Lydia is the favorite child of Marilyn and James Lee, and her parents are determined that she will fulfill the dreams they were unable to pursue. But when Lydia’s body is found in the local lake, the delicate balancing act that has been keeping the Lee family together is destroyed, tumbling them into chaos.

thought this was a good book...good character development. I was disappointed in the ending....a little abrupt and not quite what i was looking for.

This is a story of a mixed Chinese family in which the favored daughter dies at the very beginning of the book. The story then travels back and forth revealing the dynamics of all the family members culminating in the “why” and “how” this tragic event happened.