The Choice, Edith Eva Eger, author; Tovah Feldshuh, narrator
The author is quite an accomplished doctor who is considered an authority on PTSD, and because of her expertise, at times she has been called upon by the military to help soldiers work through their traumatic experiences. Because of her past, she has a greater understanding of their suffering.
Her book is told in four parts, ultimately ending with the author’s realization that she is free, that she has let go of her own painful memories and can move on. If you let go of the memories that hurt you, that you have buried, you will be free to make new ones that will allow you to have a happier future.
As Dr. Eger describes her ordeal during the Holocaust, her bravery and consistent effort to find something hopeful, even in the worst of times, is apparent. Although she was subjected to a nightmare existence, although she witnessed unimaginable horrors, although she experienced unbelievable evil, she never gave in to despair. She maintained the fortitude to look at the bright side. She had survived to live another day while others had not had such good fortune. She believed that because she was not alone, because she and her sister had managed to stay together, it helped each of them to stay alive.
After the war, Edith and her surviving sisters returned to their family home. Their parents and other relatives and friends did not return. Soon, however, they moved on with their lives, burying their painful memories of the Holocaust. They found love and resettled in other countries they believed would be more welcoming. They adjusted to their new lives, learned new languages, withstood the still prevalent prejudices, raised their families and developed their careers.
As a therapist she actively participated in the treatment of her patients. She cried with them, offered them compassion, screamed with them, gave them imaginary situations to act out their pain, and engaged in some activities with them to give them the courage to confront their fears. As her patients reached into the depths of their pain, she helped them to work through them. As they recovered, she also began to see her own anxiety more clearly. She realized that they were helping her to work through her own hidden problems and secrets that she had fiercely protected, afraid to confront her own memories because she thought it was better to protect others from her anger, pain and sorrow.
In spite of all the hardship she endured in her life, she always saw the bright side, always found the silver lining rather than the dark cloud. She did not “react, she responded” to situations as they presented themselves. She did not make excuses, she solved her problems and she taught her patients to do the same. She helped guide them through their debilitating trauma and helped them find hope and a way forward, to find freedom.
She did not have a rigid approach of one size fits all, but rather, she treated every patient uniquely. She encouraged them to get in touch with their anger, because she believed without rage there could be no forgiveness. She believed the patient had to forgive themselves so they could go forward. Soldiers who felt guilty for their fellow soldier’s deaths on the battlefield, women who had to survive the painful memory of rape and other abuses, young girls who were scarred with an unreal view of their own self image, all had to find out what was the underlying cause of their pain. What were they hiding from themselves, and others, that had to be discovered so they could find the key to a healthier life? Edith Eger overcame adversity by never giving up, by always finding hope in the bleakest of situations. She did not let herself get trapped, but always looked for a trap door. She tried to lead her patients to that same philosophy of searching for an escape route to freedom.
In addition to this being a story of survival, redemption and forgiveness, it is also a love story in an environment of hate. Edith, with her indomitable spirit, believed in certain principles. If you are passive, you let others decide for you. If you are aggressive you are deciding for others. However, if you are assertive, you make you own decisions and trust your own judgment to be enough. You do not have to be a victim, unless you choose to be a victim. “Victimhood is something we choose because of how others have treated us”. She believes that all of us suffer to some degree, and it is not fair to decide that one’s suffering is greater than another’s. We cannot diminish our own suffering because of guilt, because we think we don’t deserve to feel as we do since others have suffered worse. That thought process only continues our own suffering and serves our need to be a victim.
Dr. Eger believes that many of our problems come from misunderstandings and misinterpretations. She believes that although our pain might seem petty to others, it is really significant because there is always a greater underlying reason for that suffering. The true cause of it is merely hidden and waiting to be freed.
Using her story, and a composite of her patient’s stories, she hopes to guide the readers of this book to freedom, as well. As she reveals the memories of her childhood, her parent’s relationship, her mother’s coldness, and her traumatic wartime experience, the reader will find her to be truly inspirational.