Breathe, Joyce Carol Oates, author; Cassandra Campbell, narrator
This strange book appears to be an homage to the author’s own not too distant grievous loss, after a decade of marriage to her second husband. It is terribly difficult to read it, as it is relentless in its brutal descriptions of life and death with its grief and loneliness.
When her husband and the love of Michaela’s life, Gerard McManus, falls ill unexpectedly, after only a dozen years of marriage, and he rapidly descends toward death, she either goes mad or simply lives in and imagines an alternate reality, most of the time. They had planned so many years and so many things to do together, but now, they never would have them. As man plans, G-d often laughs, as the saying goes. She was Gerard’s second wife, and she found herself wondering, as his mind wandered, from which wife was he seeking comfort?
The novel is about unbearable loss, the stages of grief and loneliness, and our ability or inability to cope with our lives when we are faced with devastating trauma and hopeless prospects. Does Michaela feel guilty for being alive as Gerard lays dying? Can she bear the thought of his absence from her life? Is she a victim who joins her husband in death after attempting to sacrifice everything to save him, or does she become the lone survivor, finally facing her loss and beginning a new chapter in her life? She is, after all, still young. I am not sure the reader will be able to decide which, as Oates paints alternate realities on almost every page.
This is one of the most depressing books I have ever read, as well as the most intuitive into our innermost thoughts. However, if the reader can’t get past the gross demon gods, the nightmares, the odd characters, the barbaric legends, the gory descriptions of a life that seems irreparable so that hospice care and/or psychological intervention will be necessary for all the living and the dying, I advise the reader to pass it by. One needs a high tolerance for aberrant behavior and alternate worlds in order to appreciate this novel, for Oates imagination has really explored the outer edges of our hopeless existence this time. We witness Michaela as she suffers from a grief too large to bear as her despair overcomes her, as her husband’s illness defeats him, as she refuses to eat, grows faint, harms herself without knowing, and cannot breathe, although she keeps begging Gerard to continue to breathe. She too, hallucinates and does not accept her reality. It is a rapid descent into madness as she grows unable to function in the real world and all of her hopes and dreams vanish.
There are no redeeming features. Nurses and medical personnel are indifferent, friends are false, despair and hopelessness are the only reality for Michaela and thus, also for the reader. There is no place to turn for real comfort, for there is no cure for what she or Gerard have to endure on their own.
The descriptions of loss are authentic, however, though they are almost too visceral. The description of relationships is right on the money as well, with one partner always making sacrifices for the other who often does not wholly appreciate them, with the devastating effects of tragedy on all of us. Our own re-examination of our relationships, in deep detail, is very common when devastating illness strikes or when tragedy of any kind occurs. It requires a readjustment of our lives in order to deal with the suffering to come.
Do we not demand that the victim continue to breathe for our own sake, and not theirs, always, so we get to keep them as long as we can, regardless of how they suffer, even as they become a shell of a human being with no lifelike qualities except for the breath of air a machine can provide? It is very disturbing as death and loneliness overwhelm the characters. Often, I found it hard to discern which of the narratives was real and which was imaginary, as Micaela’s life also seemed to travel down the road of unreality.
The book seemed overly preoccupied, perhaps to the point of obsession, with the sexual references to some Native American gods and goddesses, but especially when referring to Skli and Ishtikini. Blood, suffering, tumors, metastases, mental problems were so front and center it was difficult to keep reading without becoming depressed myself, yet it was written so well, I could not give it less than a three stars. However, At one point when the author lists television programs that Gerard prefers, they are all left-wing, which unnecessarily gave away her own personal political views. In addition, why were several themes so repetitious. It became distracting. The reader will wonder if the end scene is a reference to Oates’ description of Orpheus as he attempts to bring Eurydice back to life, hinting therefore that Michaela succumbs when “Gerard” turns to look back, or will the reader believe that because the story of Orpheus is truly a legend, her survival is meant to be the real ending?