Once Our Lives, Life, Death and Love in the Middle Kingdom, Qin Sun Stubis, author
This true story is told in an easy-to-read style, almost as if the author is speaking directly to the reader. It is hard not to be moved by the roller-coaster life of the Gu family, as life in China moved from the Opium Wars to the Cultural Revolution. This memoir is a testament to the courage and independence of the author’s mother, because she somehow always managed to place her little family on steady, stable ground, in spite of the chaos around her.
The author is the second of four girls born to her parents, Yan and An Chu. Although the story spans generations, because it is taken from Qin's memories and the recollections of her mother, it felt more like their story. Qin describes a life of grievous deprivation and hardship, yet her mother somehow found the strength to care for her growing family of four girls, and her extended family of parents, in-laws and siblings. She overcame poverty, superstition, corruption, and shame, even when her husband was unjustly incarcerated and her country was in turmoil.
China’s history was riddled with conflict. The leaders changed with the passage of time. Some of their policies created so much fear that people betrayed each other with false accusations, just to save themselves from being unfairly accused of crimes against the state. Friends and relatives willingly slandered each other to keep danger from their door or to advance in a society with rules that were changing constantly. Property was confiscated and the innocent were imprisoned for indeterminate lengths of time. Qin’s family suffered all of these indignities even though they were loyal to the government.
With little else but what nature offered, Yan and An Chu managed to thrive, if not materially, certainly with their accomplishments and devotion to each other. In Yan Gu’s home, without the creature comforts of her youth, cleanliness, love and knowledge were respected in spite of family discordance, and what sometimes seemed like an irrational loyalty to a government that was often schizophrenic, cruel and barbaric.
Qin’s mother, Yan, was born in 1932, at a time when children were still bought and sold like groceries. When she was seven years old, she was purchased by relatives. Her new family was well-to-do. She had a beautiful home and was simply expected to forget her past. Her new father, Ho De, was very kind to her, buying her special gifts that aroused jealousy in her mother, Jin Lai. Jin Lai was sometimes indifferent or abusive to Yan. Yan often longed for her old family, but she soon realized that they had dismissed her, as if she never existed. When circumstances proved to her that her new family truly loved her, she began to adjust to her new life. Ho De taught her to read and write. Most girls in China were uneducated, and the poor were not educated for very long, regardless of their sex. So, she was luckier than most.
Raised to be obedient, she became a genuinely, dutiful daughter to her new parents, and then to her brother, Chon Gao. When the Civil War between the Nationalists and the Communists threatened the family, to protect their fortune, she was sent with the family housekeeper to the family’s estate, along with the family’s riches. However, when pirates boarded their ship, all of it was stolen. Fortunately, they did reach the estate, and her stay there was idyllic. Soon, however, she was called back home to care for her mother who had been diagnosed with Tuberculosis.
While Yan was away, the political situation in China had deteriorated. False rumors about her father forced him to leave his position. Instead of fighting them, he moved his family away to a new home and became a simple shopkeeper. When the Communists nationalized all businesses, he lost his and was only allowed to work in the store for a small salary. All those who were once well-to-do, were forced to take on menial jobs. All those who once had the menial jobs, took over their lifestyle and now had the power.
Yan began to help her family by teaching illiterate people to read and write. She was persuaded to apply for acting school and was accepted. Although she loved it, she had to return home once again, when her mom’s illness worsened. She nursed her until she succumbed to the disease. Her father was distraught when his wife died, so Yan remained at home, never returning to school. Her father became obsessed with the idea that she would leave him, or perhaps would be in danger so he secretly followed her. When Yan found out, she became overwhelmed with his excessive attentiveness, and lack of trust. She decided to support Mao Zedong’s newly founded People’s Republic of China. She left her home and traveled to Zhang Ye, a kind of no-man’s land, to help to bring China’s undeveloped communities into the future. The living conditions were terrible, but the young people who went there bravely forged ahead in spite of the difficulties and lack of creature comforts. There, she met An Chu. He had also once been a wealthy child, but when the war between China and Japan broke out, his family’s business and fortune were destroyed. They were destitute from that day forward. When he was born, his mother was visited by a beggar. She believed that beggar had possessed An Chu. She believed his life would be one of suffering.
Yan and An Chu discovered they were very compatible, and they married and had a child. When political winds blew and changed direction, they were sent back home to Shanghai with little to show for their courageous effort to help China. With no assets, and with a newborn baby, Ping, they returned to live in the shantytown where An Chu’s extended family lived. Once again, they made the best of a bad situation, but the political winds blew An Chu into the fray. He was detained and tortured, accused of being against the Mao government, although he had volunteered to help. He was imprisoned. He was denounced by a sister, so that she herself could advance and not be tarnished by her relationship with him. Eventually, he was set free, wounded gravely by the experience.
Time passed and Yan restored him to health with her tenderness and devotion. Then the fickle winds of politics blew again and he was once more arrested. This time it was for the opposite charge of supporting the Mao government. Incredibly, he was accused of being both for and against Mao, and he was unfairly punished for both. This longer prison sentence took a great toll on him, mentally and physically. Still, Yan waited for his return and kept her little family safe and together. Time passed, life and death continued to occur.
Because of Yan’s unwavering determination, her family survived. With the help of Senator McCain, Qin was eventually able to study in America. There she achieved her goals scholastically. She married and remained there. She learned that the United States was not her enemy. Meanwhile, back in China, when Yan became ill, the story goes full circle, because her eldest daughter Ping, cared for her until her death. Then sadly, Ping also experienced the death of her father and grandmother in quick succession. Her grandmother, Ya Zhen had believed the curse of the beggar had come true. Her grandmother, Ya Zhen had believed the curse of the beggar had come true. On her deathbed, her Great Grandmother made a prediction about Qin? Will readers agree with them? This is truly a story of great courage that is necessary to overcome the worst kind of adversity. It is a memoir that should be read.