After Annie, Anna Quindlen, author, Gilli Messer, narrators
This is a tender-hearted story about loss and grief, but it is not maudlin, and it leaves readers thoughtful and a little hopeful about our own ability to deal with life’s traumas effectively.
A family is shattered when Annie, the female head of their happy household, suddenly suffers an unexpected aneurysm that forever after alters their lives. Her death leaves a hole that is very hard to fill because she was unselfish and undemanding, compassionate, but firm in her discipline, very hard working and the quintessential mother and wife.
Bill suddenly finds himself to be a father who is adrift and grief-stricken, tasked with the sole responsibility of raising his 4 young children, Ali, Anthony, Benji, and Jamie. To deal with his pain, he never mentions his wife, their mother, again.
Ali, age 13, was the oldest child. She was very responsible and mature, and in spite of her grandmother’s cruel tongue, often remained silent. She took on the care of the family. Because theirs had been a happy family, unlike others that are mentioned in the novel, the lack of communication was troublesome. They were not able to discuss their feelings adequately, making their adjustment to their loss even harder. Their family had been loving and warm while Annie was alive, but when she died, Bill’s withdrawal and reticence made their mother’s absence even more complete. He loved them, but he didn’t know how to deal with his own misery, let alone theirs.
A few relatives, a best friend and some single women stepped in to try and help. Some bullies were unkind, but the school helped by providing counseling for the two eldest children, Ant and Ali. The younger two boys seemed to be adjusting fairly well. The social worker was very effective in her dealings with Ali and Ant and was able to engage them in conversation so they opened up about their feelings and problems. She was even able to guide Bill to help him improve his parenting skills.
Gently and with appropriate restraint, Quindlen deals with incest and drug addiction, fidelity and infirmity, domineering and dysfunctional parents, the aged and the young. In some cases, there are positive outcomes, in others, there are no good solutions. This is not a fairy tale, but an authentic presentation of how we deal with the stress and the heartache humans deal with, often as a result of poor choices, illness, both physical and mental, financial instability, class distinctions, loneliness and the cruelty of some that may take many forms.
There are characters in the book that knowingly participate in wrongdoing, and in this matter, I found the book too thin. I think there should have been stronger moral judgment about the choice of taking drugs to escape, about Ali’s friend Jennie’s situation with her dad, about Jennie’s mom’s complicity and about her sister’s absence. I would have liked the story to deal with the crimes of the father with more substance and perhaps some suggestions for solutions. Why did the system fail, and how can it be fixed?
The many different kinds of relationships like that of Ali and her friend Jennie, of Bill and Liz, Angie and Anna Marie, Jennie and her father, Jennie’s mom and dad, Bill and Annie, are used to illustrate human frailties and “the heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to” as Hamlet eloquently explains. They also point to the hope and possibility of a corrected course, if we ever fall off the wagon and go too far astray. Life is meant to be good.