Friendly Fire: A Fractured Memoir, Paul Rousseau, author.
Most of us will laugh when, in conversation, someone says “just shoot me”; we will look with interest at bullet points on a paper we are reading; we will feel pain if we have a trigger finger. We will, however, not panic if we hear words that are related to guns. On the other hand, most of us have never been shot. Paul Rousseau is different. He panics because on April 7th, 2017, his college dorm roommate, Mark, went into his own bedroom and took out a gun he was not allowed to have. Without realizing it was loaded, he said, he pointed it at the wall that separated him from Paul, and he pulled the trigger. Paul collapsed. That bullet had passed through the wall and hit him in the head setting off a fire alarm.
Mark was aghast, terrified, and did not know what to do. However, not knowing what to do and doing the wrong thing are two decidedly different behaviors. He told Paul to shower. He tried to clean up. He hid the weapon. He called two friends. They begged him to call for help. Instead, for two hours, he tried to cover up his “crime”, which was never treated as a crime, even when law enforcement came to investigate the fire alarm. They took his word for how blood got on the floor. They accepted his excuses and explanations and told him he would probably not get into trouble for having a firearm, although it was not permitted. If it was the first time, he would probably just get a warning. So, what repercussions did Mark suffer as a consequence of his unspeakable behavior? Should he have paid a higher price?
Meanwhile, Paul had remarkably survived and was in and out of consciousness. He wanted to protect his friend, when he was questioned, though the reader may wonder why. Finally, he was taken by ambulance to a hospital. A friend called his girlfriend and she called his mother. The school, perhaps determined to protect itself, neglected to follow protocol and never did call.
The fact that Paul was alive astounded everyone. He had a bullet in his brain, and the fact that he could speak with them was highly unusual. However, he now had a long road ahead of him with surgeries, medication, counseling and therapy to face. He had been studying to be a writer, and happily, this book proves he actually accomplished that goal in a superb way!
Using his own incomparable, conversational style, in fits and spurts, in very short chapters making it really easy to read, he describes the tragic day that changed his life completely. It feels almost like a diary, as he writes about the before and the after, because he knows that there is no going back to before, after the kind of injury he has suffered.
His future is destined to be filled with confronting the political system, pleas to insurance companies, conversations with medical personnel, examinations by doctors, confrontations with lawyers, accumulating necessary records, mood swings, family issues, and myriad other appointments in order to bring about closure. Working the system is an uphill battle and the roadblocks are ludicrous. The system is set to make him look bad, and explain away the event that took away a piece of his brain. Because Paul refuses to press charges against Mark, not wanting to ruin his friend’s life, the reader is forced to deal with the frustration of not seeing some kind of justice done. Mark is not as interested in protecting his friend Paul, and his insurance company and lawyers are engaged in fighting Paul’s claims of disability. The lack of accountability and conscience of the shooter will be unfathomable to the reader.
The book, although very rarely, does come down in a political way. It is obvious where Paul stands. He does not like Trump, but he is polite and funny in his condemnation. He wants gun control, and who can blame him? Still, I would have liked him to address mental and emotional illness, more fully, because a gun never fires itself. He suffered from both mental and emotional issues as a consequence of his injuries, so I thought he should truly have had a better understanding of what society is dealing with, instead of blaming gun control laws and the presence of guns. Often, in the places with the strictest rules, themost gun crimes occur.
I think it would be great if this book provides the impetus to begin a real conversation about guns. Who is using the guns and how are they getting them? Are they fit to have the weapon? Are the weapons even legal? Without a gun would the person choose a different weapon? Is someone bent on murder or injuring someone undaunted by the choice of a weapon? Might they use a knife or an axe or poison or fists instead? What is the root cause of the problem? Is it environment, is it education, is it home life? Why is there so much desperation? Why is there so much anger? Why are so many young people depressed? Why is there so much mental disturbance? Why are the victims so often improperly compensated and antagonized while the villain calmy walks away, unscathed?
This book can only do so much, I know. Truthfully, it is mostly about Rousseau’s difficult road to recovery, about the system he fights, about the injustices he faced. He will never be fully recovered, and he knows it, but he writes this book with such a light hand, that the reader is actually entertained by his narrative, although the subject matter is a difficult one.
I recommend this book to everyone as he blends comedy and his tragedy with perfection.